It's 5 in the morning. I've finished a canvas painting for no reason but to paint, and I've put polish on my nails. I'm not tired. I feel more like there are things that need to be done. Sooo I'll just ramble.

Do I really do commissions because I -need- money? Come to think of it, no. Aaron assures me he has it handled. Once he does get paid for whatever the fuck he's doing, we'll have money to cover a few things. Food's not a problem while we live with his mom.
So what gives? I guess I want to feel financially independent, even if it means getting only enough to get a McDonald's meal once every two months. Though, that's not what I'd want to spend my money on.
Really, I just want money to get out of this house once in a while. I want to be able to visit Pittsburgh next year for Anthrocon. I want to get Wiccan tools. A dagger, a couple chalices, wands, staffs, what have you. Maybe a fursuit too, and maybe a camera. I dunno, I wanna spoil myself. Hell, just having some for gas just to sit at the park in Harrison would suffice.

I'm not complaining about not getting commissions, that's childish. I just have a bad case of cabin fever. I need a change in scenery, and not just the weather changing. Even if I can just change it a little in this household, that's good enough for me.

"get a job"

Puh, where? At a factory where I'm subject to constant and useless dangers? At a fast food joint where they'll chain me to it and keep me from working anywhere else? At a Walmart where they pay their employees so little that they have to use food stamps to buy food at Walmart?

“There is an ugliness in being paid for work one does not like.” -Anaïs Nin

That is why I wish to get paid for something I love doing, and that's artwork. Maybe I'm not as passionate about it as most artists are, but it's something I enjoy doing. Drawing others' characters, personas, and fursonas is something I love to do. I don't feel the need to succumb to anything my mom and many other sleeping minds tell me to do.

Even then, Aaron said he'd slap me with a fish if I thought about working somewhere that I hate =P