Emphasis on real friends by ZealousRaptor

So you ever have that friend that doesn't notice you until you poke them a couple hundred times?

Yeah i'm not sure if they are ignoring me or just bad timing on my part, probably and most likely bad timing, i'm patient

But one can only be patient for so long, you know they must have gotten that message i sent like 3 days ago or the one i sent just half hour ago, you'd think they might have seen them whenever they got back yes?

I just love how they gloss over some messages about what i'm doing or some neat projects i'm doing

I just recently got yelled at for being so self loathing, voicing things out loud about how i feel never goes well, so i say nothing at all, i'm refraining saying what i feel right now since it could borderline emo so i will just say this, i just need to find new people to interact with

People recently have disappointed me in ways i've not felt for ages

This is why i'm so negative, this is why i'm normally bitter to strangers and people i don't know, deep down i don't want to talk to people but at the same time i like having company around to know what kinds of things i can do, its like i'm trapped in my own head always thinking what people might say about the things i say myself

I question myself constantly, am i good enough?, am i doing this right? Its only now i bother to let these thoughts free in order to try to better myself, i do hope i'm making the right choice cause rereading this journal i sound kinda sad, just another mopey blog post on the internet

Are these even valid points i'm making? At this point i'm just too sleepy to think

Hope to find some new friends in the meantime

~Z

Emphasis on real friends

ZealousRaptor

16 August 2014 at 10:48:57 MDT

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    I feel pretty much the exact same way. I do have a couple of great friends but they don't seem to like to talk to me much at all...though that's probably all my fault since I'm not fun to talk to haha. I think your points are completely valid though - you shouldn't be ignored all the time. Sounds like you might be putting up a wall between yourself and other people to prevent yourself from being disappointed any more...Guess you gotta take a risk of talking to strangers if you want to find new, better friends. Hope you're able to find some good ones.

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    Don't worry people go through this all the time, and over my lifetime friends have sadly come and gone and it's just part of life. If they no longer want to listen then don't bother with them move on to greener pastures and find new people... Sure it may be hard (I used to be pretty shy in general) but now some of my best friends offsite were pretty much met by just posting hi on my profile or in a PM. So don't fret over small stuff like that. And most importantly don't be afraid of other people...sure there might be a bad apple in a basket but don't let them get to you. Hope stuff gets better for you 83.