So you ever have that friend that doesn't notice you until you poke them a couple hundred times?

Yeah i'm not sure if they are ignoring me or just bad timing on my part, probably and most likely bad timing, i'm patient

But one can only be patient for so long, you know they must have gotten that message i sent like 3 days ago or the one i sent just half hour ago, you'd think they might have seen them whenever they got back yes?

I just love how they gloss over some messages about what i'm doing or some neat projects i'm doing

I just recently got yelled at for being so self loathing, voicing things out loud about how i feel never goes well, so i say nothing at all, i'm refraining saying what i feel right now since it could borderline emo so i will just say this, i just need to find new people to interact with

People recently have disappointed me in ways i've not felt for ages

This is why i'm so negative, this is why i'm normally bitter to strangers and people i don't know, deep down i don't want to talk to people but at the same time i like having company around to know what kinds of things i can do, its like i'm trapped in my own head always thinking what people might say about the things i say myself

I question myself constantly, am i good enough?, am i doing this right? Its only now i bother to let these thoughts free in order to try to better myself, i do hope i'm making the right choice cause rereading this journal i sound kinda sad, just another mopey blog post on the internet

Are these even valid points i'm making? At this point i'm just too sleepy to think

Hope to find some new friends in the meantime

~Z