I have NEVER once asked for you to challenge me like you have. Tomorrow I know if I have to move back to Ohio or not.. I don't think I'll have the money to pay my rent.. I'm behind on all my bills. There isn't much of anything I can do really.. My family is willing to help me with the move if my fiance and I can't afford the money to stay here.

I keep having mini break downs because I know some of this is my fault and I can't change that.. all I can do now is hope and pray I can get things in line so I won't be homeless.

I love my nephews and niece here.. but I don't know when I'll be able to afford to see them again.. or if we'll be allowed.

I worked for the family business and apparently my fiance was threatening (which he wasn't, other than saying we're going to have to move to Ohio if we can't get the rent money). Which caused a fall out and we're not sure what's happening. We don't have a phone.. and we shouldn't have internet but.. somehow we were lucky with that.

I know they just helped with the car.. but if we had regular pay we wouldn't be in the boat now. I've tried applying for other places... The one place I had an interview.. I had to cancel because my car was repo'd and I didn't know if I was going to be getting it back.

My family has made room for me and even borrowed from a family friend, just in case. I keep feeling MORE and more like that just in case is going to happen. At least no matter what happens I have my fiance.

Life, please get better soon. I am trying. I don't ask people for help too often unless I really need it.

Sincerely,
Jessica

P.S. I'm sorry I ranted here but I don't know where else to say all the things on my mind. Thanks if you read this at all.