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Something personal, [gentle talk] by Happysorry
I was very angry today. Very very angry. Cause i was thinking about past things. About actions..and things that really really hurt me. I hated the feeling. I hated every bit of it, regretted even why I... It's very venomous and the hatred i feel is just as strong as the love i used to feel for this person.
at the end of the night i just ended up crying. All the venom sizzled and turned into a lump in my chest. And I cried for a bit. Then i went to lay down on the floor with my back against the ground looking up at shadows and a mess of light from plugs.
I told myself. "I'm amazing, I'm going to be the greatest thing out there. I'm going to be the amazing cynthia" I smiled and slowly sat up puffing out my chest. "I'm going to do great things, I got so many ideas theres so many things to do. My future is right there I"ll be right there." I stood up and i smiled. "I'm going to be great! I'm going to make my life absolutely amazing, where i can be happy, Where I wont feel sad!"
And then I thought about all you guys. All of you. Who took their time, their precious words, to give to me. To give me work. To show me, to lead me, to help me out. And I literally bowed, thinking of you guys. Who did such amazing things for me. It may be small to you..but to me its amazing.
You guys are so amazing. If i could record this i would and show you my greatest appreciation towards you all.
on a radndom note. Anger..anger ..it helps make choices..and Helps me move forward. It helps me get the perspective..that..been stolen from me so many times cause i was too polite. Too welcoming of other thoughts. Too sympathetic to others. I channel it to move me forward. Its.. its not the best way.
I can honestly say.. That I sometimes dont channel my anger the right way and it can hurt, and be very destructive.. cause it turns into sadness..
that eats away at me. especially if i have to hold it in and let myself be ran over by other things.
its not ideal. but it works for now. I will get there. I will continue my path, and be the most amazing cynthia there is.
I just.. wanted to share, for some unknown reason. Thank you so much.
Something personal, [gentle talk]
Journal Information
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- 31
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Comments
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thank you, yeah life is a bit silly like that
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I think it's a good thing that you're able to channel your sadness and anger into being more positive. Sure, there may be a few kinks, but you're on the right track~ :3
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thank you so much .///.
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Anger is a difficult creature to master. It can be empowering, as you say, but it can also destroy you just as easily. But you know what? I think you really are fully capable of being amazing. And I'm glad to see you so determined to do so. :) Keep rocking on.
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thank you!!
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Never forget that it's okay to feel these things (angry, sad, etc.). Still, I hope you're able to find happiness and more to love. Best wishes go out to you.
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ahh ahahah yeah thats something..one can forget, i'll make sure to keep that to heart .//.
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You ARE amazing and you should never debate that no matter how much that "Hate yourself" switch tries to flip on. Break it to pieces with the positive hammer.
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<333
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<3333333
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You're definitely one of the best people I met on these art sites--so if this helps you move on and be better, then it is the path for you! Keep reaching for your dreams!!! hugs
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i'm very proud of you
recently i was caught in an uncomfortable position of a large mess and i found that just letting all of my feelings out in a large angry burst felt very freeing and i just felt so immensely better after that. i'm glad that you found a positive light within your own problems and you still came out positive, i'm very happy for you :)-
u////u th..thank you
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Sometimes we just need to break stuff, and its all good c:
And, of course! you ARE amazing and can achive great things! I belive in you and in your potential * u *-
X//d thanks!! means tons to me
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To master ones anger is to master ones self
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X//d thats the cheesiest line, and they make it sound so much easier than one thinks
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Take it from someone that was on meds for his anger, where I am a hot head still, it takes a lot to get me going and then 99% of the time I will walk off and cool down. So where I haven't fully mastered it, I have it under good control ... So its not as hard as it sounds.
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We loooooove you, Cynnie-minnie. <3
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love you guys too !
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it's okay to get angry, and it's okay to be sad. Heck, even as a male IRL (I'm referring to myself) I know it's okay to cry, I'm a tad hardened I like to think, so those around me know that if I'm crying, something's wrong, but that doesn't mean that I don't cry at all, and anger is fine too, when I was younger, I had a punching bag (actual punchingbag, had water in the base and stuff) that I'd go to town on...got strong enough that the base couldn't even keep it upright...I was the most physically fit person I knew because any time I got angry, I'd be punching and kicking at that punching bag. I do know that it's alright to feel angry and sad, because that's natural. Someone hurts you, you're gonna be angry, or you're gonna be sad as a result. Just know that no matter how sad or angry you are, my note inbox is always open if you just wanna vent. I know that art doesn't always feel like the "right" kind of medium when you want to vent, just like writing isn't always the right kind of medium when it comes to venting at times, sometimes you just need someone to yell and scream at, and to cry on, and I'm happy to be the person you go to for that. It can be therapeutic, to say the least
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thank you so very much .///. i get shy about this kind of stuff soemtimes. I always appreiciate your offer and your kind words <3
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the offer is always open, and no need to get shy, I'm happy to be your friend, and even though I might not be able to understand your feelings, I can atl east offer you an ear to help you discuss it, and I can offer input when you need it. I'm happy to be of help.
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aaah sweetie I wish I could hug you so badly right now! Just know that we all believe in you, and you have so much potential and power to become the best Cyn out there <3 I guess I should also thank YOU for always being so positive and energetic, believe it or not, you have helped me a lot with personal issues uvu just seeing how happy you always tries to be makes me feel so much better ! keep your chin up, lovely uwu <3
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Will do -smiles- i'll do my best .//w.
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Anger is really, really hard. I still don't know how to handle it myself, but I'm glad you had a good cry out of it and you're determined to move forward! You're progressing at light speed!
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Ikani (director)
Everyone goes through their own hard times now and then. I'm glad you are handling yours so well!