okay. hear me out. but I have a complete love/hate relationship with convention season.

what I love:

• happy photos!

• money for artists that deserve it

• good friends getting together from around the world

what I despise and feel horribly bummed about:

• happy photos!

• seeing artists that kick ass then noticing how much my art is lacking in general appeal. I mean seriously I even put a pony picture up that I'm super proud of and it's flying under everyone's radar. People love ponies..?

• realizing I have very few friends who I could even meet if I were to go to a convention. Very few people who'd wanna meet me, let alone want to room with me. I can name about three people that would be mildly interested in seeing me if we ended up being at a convention, and one person who would actually want me to room with him. (brohoof to you, you know who you are).

I'm sorry for being so bummed out lately. I've been very up and down. I feel good about my art and I've been making plenty of it, but.. I just thought I'd be doing better by now... not in skill, mind you, but in others noticing it. I've sold a WHOPPING ONE FREAKING PIN on my online store. ONE. I would really like to do more commissions but I don't think people notice me in the first place. And I sure as hell am not going to open up NSFW commissions, which limits a highly paying audience.

I'd love to even sell at a convention. But I know I wouldn't make a profit. I know I'd do extremely poorly. I couldn't compete.

I guess I would just like to be able to experience something that seems to important to me. I never thought gatherings of nerds would make me feel so blue.