These last few weeks haven been increasingly brutal on me and my family...

my dad has been working 7 days a week for the last month to cover for the fact that his company is incompetent, and laid everyone off but a very small group of people, so he's doing the work of 4 people, and he already did more work then most, cause of the sheer incompetence of the employees there, and he doesn't get a raise despite all this, even after being there 35+ years...

My mom is suffering from a seemingly increasing list of medical issues, MS, RLS, borderline diabetes, anemia, severe depression and anxiety. she barely ever sleeps, cause her nerves are so screwed up that she cant sleep or function, she's always REALLY tired due to sleep deprivation and anemia. I don't know how she even functions right now...

On top of that, she's dealing with my sister's school, who is being painfully difficult, and not working with us, and assuming my sister's mild mental imparement automatically makes her a candidate for special ed, and she's not even close to that, she can funtion within a normal class without problem, she just needs a bit of extra help, but its cheaper and less work for them to put her in special ed, or to only limit her to classes that she "wont need assistance in" the problem is, they've done that so many times now, they're making her take classes she's already taken. yay public school system!!!! on the bright side, only a 2 more months until she graduates and this bullshit is over with...

Also on top of my mom's issues, is also an issue that involves me - money. about a month ago, my mom needed help paying some bills, because she didn't get paid, because the company she works for got bought out, by a bigger company, which overall has proven to be a good thing, the issue is, it changed pay dates, so bills rolled around and she hadn't been paid. So she comes to me asking to borrow some money. which she already doesnt wanna do, cause she's borrowed money from me before and hasnt been able to pay me back, which makes her feel like a bad mom, which kills her, and she spent like half an hour crying in my room cause she felt so bad and like such a failure, and I tell her she isn't, that this has nothing to do with her being a failure, this has to do with life doing what life loves to do, fuck you over. So I say yes, and pretty much drain my bank account for all I have minus like... $20... it sucks, but I can live, since I got paid in a week. so I get through the week with minimal issue despite tight funds. get paid, everything is fine.... until about noon.... when the utility company... decides to take all but $33 dollars from my account, a WEEK after they had already been paid. and I had a car payment due... so I had to go another week with next to nothing... my mom calls the utility company, and they essentially said, "we dunno why, sucks for you.", it at least sounds like it's on our account to be used to during next billing, but I wont hold my breathe on that... So, i basically told my mom, no more using my card on stuff... if she needs money, I give her the physical money, so I dont keep getting surprise charges that drain my account over and over.

I admit, when I first got a job, and people needed to borrow from me, even my parents, who I live with, and pay 90% of the bills, I would get angry, cause it was my money, I worked for it. but after loaning close to $5,000 to my parents to pay for various things, I just stopped caring... my view on "life's only purpose is to make you miserable" only fortified, and just learned to accept it as an inevitable truth. money will always be tight and cause suffering, and stress... and as I said, I cant complain too much about helping with bills, I do live in their house... which they pay for most of... so if I gotta help... I gotta help... it just sucks that this seems to be the way of things lately... more and more stress, more and more anguish...

it's like having a noose around your neck, but instead of a quick drop and it's over it's a slow drawn own painful process....