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Feeling as if I'm misleading customer at work - Long post by insanejoker

So, I'm not a believer in any way shape or form. I don't care for religion, organized or not, I don't believe in any aspect of it and personally find it damaging (in regards to its laws and extremists) to many people. I sometimes wonder if my fears are messed up because of it: There's always someone judging you, watching you. I wouldn't be surprised if this is where my anxiety stems from.

Anyway, a customer at work is anti-abortion, pro-life, and anti-evolution and all things like this. I do not have an issue with her believing in this or thinking this is right, she is welcome to. However, I do have an issue with her wanting to go to pregnancy crisis centers and preaching to them that if they have a child then everything will be ok, without realizing that ever pregnant woman's reason for being there is different, some reasons being life threatening (I highly recommend reading about genetic disorders, many of which can be financially and emotionally draining for some people if unable to handle it, and in this day and age not every parent is able to handle this).

She has been making these little books, which I helped make initially as a freelance job. I don't allow my personal beliefs to interfere with the quality of my work, I push for the best outcome I can. She is so happy about the jobs I do for her, and I give opinions on what images I think work and don't work. Yet I'm starting to wonder if she thinks I agree with her on what she's doing and that I have the same viewpoint as her. Now, I don't think it will ever come up, but if it does, I don't know what I'm going to do or say. How do you tell someone all that fantastic work you've done for them is actually something you don't even agree with or even believe in? I suppose it proves a point that a nonbeliever isn't a sinner or evil person, but at the same time I've met radicals and I fear she is on the edge of that, and I can see it blowing up. 'You're an atheist, and I paid you to do my work and you don't even believe in it?' Maybe I'm being irrational, but at the same time I've had customers get mad that my store has been open on a Sunday, saying our boss / CEO whatever must be an Atheist. Because, clearly that customer didn't need anything to buy that Sunday and we weren't trying to meet his needs, right?

It's not my place to tell customers 'Yea, I think evolution is a great thing' and have them try to debate with me. I know how that ends, it's exhausting. I had one customer ask me if the before and after picture of some bogus weight loss program looked real, and she was NOT happy with my answers, but she wouldn't stop pushing even when I said multiple times I'm not the right person to ask. I told her that the different camera angles, the lighting, etc. She was upset, and decided I didn't think like most people so my opinion wasn't worth much. When I do find people that believe in evolution and just the study of biology in general, I praise them. I try to give them discounts to encourage it. Not supposed to, and I suppose it's a bit bias, but I encourage education, and if I can help a teacher get better materials or prints or handouts to teach his or her students about the wonders of our ocean, I will. A mother was encouraging her son one day to create his own card game, to include both male and female characters, to encourage him to be creative and think for himself. I was so amazed she was going above and beyond to do this. I told her that, too. You could tell her son was having fun with it, and most likely learning about cause and effect (The fire type defeats the ice type, because heat causes ice to melt!).

So yea. Mini rant I guess XD

Feeling as if I'm misleading customer at work - Long post

insanejoker

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    People are insufferable sometimes. A lot of people are so set in their beliefs they believe anyone who isn't immediately against their belief automatically agrees with them until proven otherwise. So many of them seem like self-righteous twits who want the world to be full of "shiny happy people" who agree with them on everything. I really can't stand people who NEED to get an opinion out of people or barge in on the beliefs of others. It's really kind of absurd.

    People need to learn to keep their beliefs to themselves and not try to pry the beliefs of others out of them only to ridicule and debate with them in order to prove they are right; especially when the only person they are proving themselves to IS themselves.

    If she does ask you about your beliefs then just say you don't really feel like giving out your beliefs or opinions. No matter how much she or anyone else pushes for it, you shouldn't have to give your answer to it because it isn't really important when it comes to you doing your job. Honestly, if she throws a fit because you don't agree with her then you need to tell her that you do your job in a way she likes so she really shouldn't be so judgmental about it.

    You doing your job has nothing to do with what you do and don't believe because it's a JOB and only that.

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      Yess exactly! It's hard to say that in nice terms without someone flipping out. It's so frustrating because some customers just push so hard to get you to talk, and I just stand there like 'I'm not technically allowed to discuss that with you.'

      The most frustrating thing is that I don't let it interfere with my job, everyone knows I go above and beyond for everyone, even her. Yet she would let it get in the way if she knew, as if I was going to sabotage it, which I'm not. If you're going to make bogus claims then I'll make it look nice so you can show everyone. It's not my fault you're misquoting / giving false or biased information. ;>> That's your deal and you can suffer those consequences, not me.

      It's so refreshing to be able to see others with viewpoints like me x.x I feel like 'atheist' or 'non-believer' is a trigger-word for hate or evil sometimes and try to avoid saying it to people. Luckily my one boss is an atheist as well, and funny enough he goes above and beyond to help her as well.

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        I hate being associated with "tian" or "iest" terms or anything that relates to a "belief" of any kind because my own are quite different than anyone else and I never share them to avoid such conflicts because I tend to piss off religious believers all the time. I have a lot more hard views than other people because of how I've lived my life. I refused to say whether or not I think God exists in any way or form because it only opens up arguments and I refuse to allow it to interfere with my daily life.

        Don't give them any leeway and you won't have cause for concern. Just repeat "I am not allowed to discuss that with you." to your customers because saying things to influences others is bad work ethic when it comes to a job like yours. You do your job, they pay you, that is the end of your relationship as it should be. It's bad to get friendly with customers because it could affect your job in the long run which is something you don't need.

        Don't feel guilty or discouraged because of what you believe and don't give anyone else any leeway to challenge what you believe is right or wrong because that's all it is: a belief. There is no right and wrong to belief whether it is jaded or twisted or benevolent and just. A belief is a belief and people are allowed to believe whatever they want so long as they don't push it on others.

        With people like you describe, you have to be firm and stubborn about it. If they get unruly you can call security or your manager on them because they are disrupting the workspace and should leave.

        In short, my beliefs are in people. That's all I need to say. I believe in people despite my own jaded view of them. I believe in people and their capabilities as a whole.

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          -nodnod- I don't mind having healthy debates about things, but it becomes an issue when they start doing attacks and being snarky about it. It's like ok, having conversations is one thing but being a jerk is another.

          And believing in people is amazing. I think that's very admirable :) I also think that's something rare to hear or see today. I should start doing that. And thank you for making me feel better XD I sometimes feel like having a differing opinion is bad, even though I know it's not, but yea. Thank you :D

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            You're welcome. I'm glad I was of some help to you. :)

            Healthy debates are good, sometimes I even have those but usually I don't like debating or arguing of any sort because I feel it's just fire fuel but that is just me. Being a jerk and being snarky about your opinions and beliefs is not okay though.

            Not enough people believe in other people. They're too focused on the negative aspects of everyone around them. Even though I am horribly jaded about people most of the time I still believe there are better things about them I could be looking at even if they irritate me but usually other people don't agree with me especially when they don't like someone. Which is usually when I just go with "Maybe, I don't know.". I never really give a clear answer because a lot of people I know know each other and have fights so they always want to put the other person down when they're upset with each other.

            I don't like that kind of crap. If I have something negative to say, I balance it with something positive. I don't like it when people just want to bash and that's it. I also hate trolling of any kind because it isn't all that funny. I don't find making light of others and making fun of them to be "fun" in any sense of the word.

            Ah, sorry, went off on a rant.

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              Totally. I won't ever be rude or mean to someone for no reason, though there are some things that are said with horrible inaccuracies and I try to correct them, and sometimes I come off a bit strong without meaning to. I don't really think I'd ever put a person down for their beliefs, but just talk to them about it and try to see if they understand my viewpoints at all, and if they don't, they don't. It is what it is sometimes. And don't be sorry about the rant, it happens XD I do it fairly often myself.

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                I tend to get very carried away sometimes. :)

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    I commend you for keeping such a calm head about it. Wow. You're awesome. Feck I wish I had that when it came to personal beliefs. I'm more of an activist when it comes to individual rights. I'm pro-choice, pro-evolution, pro-science, pro-education (I am no Scientologist tho, I mean what is that LOL). I don't think I could calm my inner bull and ram. I'd outright refuse the job and give it to someone else because I hate people like that so bad I'd want to slap her around a bit.
    I really admire your ability to keep the peace and work through your individuality.
    People like that really can't be helped. Their spirituality is infused in their steaming piles of bullshitery that they can't see out of their foggy goggles. If she hasn't brought it up by now (asking for your opinions) I'd chalk it all up to her own ignorance. She's probably never going to ask or even care to. She'll just think you are but won't talk to anyone about you. We artists are there to just do the job. They don't really talk about who does it. (at least from my experience)

    You probably shouldn't do what I'd do. Since you work for a respectable company doing what you love to do, I'd probably keep it to myself.

    Hoshi--- I feel a rant coming on with expletives... sorry... rage... cannot... contain.... explodes

    I completely understand the reasons for abortion and really... we are not suffering from a population crisis. In fact I think it's quite the opposite. My train ride every morning at 6-7am tells me we aren't. Hell any bus ride from my house down my busy street tells me we're dealing with a population overload. (and I've lived in 4 provinces and 3 states and visited Japan! There's a lot of people on this planet. Abortions can be done. It is possible without the world drying up due to lack of life and luster. Rich people have tons of babies. I mean jesus, Angelina Jolie has 6 fucking kids. Rich. Wealthy, able to support many.)
    People with ignorance towards other people's choices just pisses me off. First off, how is that any of their business? If they believe that God will judge shouldn't they just leave that shit to their God to judge it, LESS THE BE JUDGED? I mean, Christ people. Shit. Do they even read that damn book or do they just pick out their favorite parts? I usually don't care what people believe in. Whatever makes you happy, whatever wakes you up with sunshine in the morning, whatever puts zest in your bacon and eggs man, cool, good for you smiley. You keep on keepin on but when you shove that shit down my throat? I'm not buying your funshine asshat. There seems to be only a one handed finger count on the jerkoffs that go house to house preaching about their God, or the fuckery that approaches you on the street (sadly all of mine are/have been Christians). If I wanted to know more about the book or your God almighty, I'd go to your mass witch hunt gatherings to be blessed with your banjaxed fuckery. But I don't cuz I grew up going to a church that would call my sisters and I devil's children because our aunts and uncles were deaf... God punishes sinners before their birth but babies need to be born because they are innocence. Doesn't that sound fking condesending? Hypocritical sobs
    I hate cheese whiz but I don't slap mofos for eating a cheese whiz sammich cuz I hate it. So I don't like it when they bitch about people who choose a different life or people who are bound by a different life due to class or race or mutation or disability.

    That term Atheist is why I had to correct my mother after telling her doctor. For the longest time it had put me in bad light in her bible thumping community that is Kentucky. I'm not Atheist but I'm Agnostic. I question all beliefs and since being tossed out of a Christian Church I've put that religion on my black list.

    ------ End of rant------

    Sorry about all of that... but in reality, I agree with what you did. I wish I could unleash the ability to hide my explosive side and be more business minded.
    You did the right thing by not saying anything. It's just a business interaction. I think that's a good way to sum up your relationship to her. You're not girlfriends. You don't spend the night giggling about which profit is wearing the shortest toga so there's really nothing to share between you two and that includes beliefs. She's never asked, I'd never bring it up. If she does ask, I'd tell her,
    "Our relationship here is strictly business. My belief system plays no part in our interactions together and I am not inclined to discuss them with you."
    But that would probably piss her off XD

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      I love your cheeze whiz comment - it made me laugh XD

      And thank you. I really try to be level headed about it all and be professional. I won't lie, today was one of those days when she started wanting to print anti-evolution stuff and that just killed me inside. I could feel that little sliver of a temper, but I also was running on little sleep and was at work starting at 5am, so that may have had something to do with it. Yet I still offered to fix some things with her previous order at no cost. I don't like it when my work becomes messed up, especially if someone else messes it up xD It makes me look like a bad employee. I actually have a lot of religious customers, but none are printing things like her - most of it is just handouts for the usual Sunday mass or gathering, which is just about meeting up with others (and I think that's why a lot of people go to church and the like, to socialize, but they sacrifice free-thinking for it in that particular setting). The only time I've ever been weirded out is when one customer (two young ladies, but maybe a few years older than me? so in their mid 20's) asked if I was 'going to church tomorrow'. I was so caught off guard I probably gave her a disgusted look by mistake and was like "Noo..." I think that's the only time I ever said something irrationally.

      Abortion really isn't anyone's business but the woman's. I will not judge anyone for having one. I think the best way to avoid it is sexual education which is seriously lacking now. I know fetal development fairly well by now (apparently at a certain age we're all covered in thin hairs over every inch of our bodies that eventually go away, though some genetic mutations keep it there which is why those super hairy people exist I think - I have to reread that in my books) so I know it's not easy to go through, or learn that your child may be born with a deformation of extremities beyond missing limbs. Sometimes it is the only option with the extreme cases, since the poor thing won't live past a year old or less :( It is not an easy thing, and no one has a right to make it more stressful on a private family decision.

      It also sucks that you're in an area that doesn't understand mutations and things that are beyond anyone's control. Just because someone is born deaf doesn't mean you're a sinner or anything - genes just got a little funky is all. I've read so sooo much about genetics that it's impossible for me to think it's a punishment. I've seen the videos of some children born with horrifying defects - but at the end of the day that's just a cosmetic flaw, and they're perfectly normal kids (though some do have mental disabilities)! It does however hurt to know there are uneducated and ignorant adults that don't see them as such, and I fear for others when those adults are around. I have told myself to make an effort to stop that if I ever see it, because I don't like going home knowing I didn't do anything to stop it. That stuff really riles me up, and there's no holding back when it happens ;>>

      Don't apologize for the rant - sometimes you just gotta let it out! And I totally understand that it's hard to rant about something when you're unsure about the responses it can trigger. I was definitely reluctant to post this journal, but I was like 'screw it, I'm allowed to speak my mind, too!' So don't be afraid to speak your mind in my journals. I really do welcome it XD

      I will continue to keep things professional, though, she has told me some personal things which I know are reasons why she's doing this now. I don't mind being told this (we have a high quality popular porn studio down the street, and I have printed nudes and semi-pornographic content, so in all honesty none of this bothers me in any way shape or form), it's just awkward when I can't reach out on a humane level and tell her she's not a bad person and such. I think that is partly why it makes me uncomfortable helping her. I hate that, too, being unable to try and comfort someone who will possibly lash out with religious reasoning for what they're doing now and reject my attempt to make them feel better. UGH. FINE. I won't be nice! I don't want that to happen XD

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    Holy crap! Well when you're caught off guard like that it's completely understandable.
    I wouldn't be proud of my work if I found mistakes either. Mistakes are irksome.
    Haha they must have been a little taken aback. I wonder if where you're from is somewhere within the bible belt. My mother gets asked that question a lot, she's Pagan so she often rips them a new one for pushing.

    Anything dealing with someone's sexual life and what they want to do to their body is their business. Wear a string bikini in winter after a snow storm if you want to. I don't care. If thats what floats your boat and brings peace to your lovely life, you do that polar bear. You rock that string bikini.
    I agree with that too. Sexual education. I must have taken it four times. The world is changing, rules and regulations are becoming "safer" while taking away the fundamentals that everyone should know while growing older.
    No one has any right to bar people from doing what they need to. I think I saw a movie once about something like this only it happened to one of those girls who gave out those flyers. It was physically killing her, she had to abort to save her own life since she had no one to take care of it.
    I think that some of these people need to experience it first before they can really understand those who need to do it.

    I grew up within the deaf community and really, it's a gift for us who are hearing. You learn another language that is universal. I've met deaf people from China, Japan, all over. It's such a broad scope of people who speak "the same language" in a way. I always found meeting them kind of facsinating (though some of them use different words/signs for certain words. The general words like hello are pretty universal though)

    Me too. I tend to like to bark at those that hurt other people like that. Especially those that tell people they're going to hell because of their differences. I got pretty angry with a Pastor once. LOL job positions mean nothing to true rage.

    Well unleash the fury! There's only a few things that cause trigger warnings for me. Those are usually very dark things that I'm pretty sure no one in their right mind would ever bring it up. People who have dealt with those things don't talk about it. I'm safe. XD

    LMAO Alright!! Porn!! Now that's the money.
    She's not horrible. She's blind. She's unable to experience those things because of her blind ambition and her ignorance. It doesn't make her a bad person. All people are good people somewhere, sometimes.
    She just needs a few life lessons and I can just wish and wonder if she'll ever get her chance to experience what life is really all about. Struggles and all.
    I kind of feel sorry for her now. Wow.

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      I'm originally from Michigan, and now I live in Southern California where there is a huge orthodox Jewish community. There's also people of all religions here, it's not just stuck to one, but it is a bit frustrating at times to be able to voice your own opinions or thoughts. I have met plenty of atheists / nonbelievers / agnostics at the same time though, so I am happy that they are not feeling as if they need to 'hide'. Oh, note about where I lived in Michigan: There was an evangelist and protestant church in the same neighborhood, and down the street from the retail store I worked at there. I have never met more self-righteous entitled people in my life. They would come into the store during the school season and demand to know why they couldn't get double the quantity on a special sale, which had a limit per person / household, then try and guilt us saying they were going to donate it to the less off kids at church. Well, if you really cared about giving it to the lower income kids, then just pay the normal price, or join the other 50 people that will come in today and give us the same excuse for wanting to buy more than allowed. It was a nightmare.

      It's sad that sexual education is getting negative views just because it's about sex. I really wish I could be part of educating kids on important life things, but I know I'm not really qualified and I don't know how I'd go about it. XD Though being an artist, I guess I can at least promote safe sex etc. through mini comics or illustrations. I should think about doing something like that... And it's horrible to think about a girl facing a situation like that. It's even worse when you think about that child growing up poor and who knows what could happen :( As bad as it sounds, it's like a 'better safe than sorry' thing I guess. If that makes any sense XD

      Ugh pastors. One got mad at my mom when I was younger for not putting money into the church. She was like um, wtf? Sadly as the years go on she's gotten more religious - she's scared about her future and I am pretty sure that's why.

      Sign language is neat. I learned a little bit of it when I was little, but I don't know if I could relearn it XD It is definitely hard, and it's really amazing to see people know and use it like it was the easiest thing in the world. And that's super neat you get to meet people from all over the world o.o I've always wondered how sign language worked with other countries and different languages.

      That's a good way of putting it, that she's blind. I do feel sorry for her a lot, and she's putting so much effort into all this anti-abortion / pro religion / anti-evolution stuff that I get scared she'd just fall apart if she didn't have this to do. It's really heart breaking. AGH. I am going to work soon and she's probably going to come in XD But at least I feel a bit better on how to handle it and that I'm not doing anything wrong or bad x.x I remember a girl was printing her pictures for some porn convention and she was so self-conscious and was like 'I'm just a normal girl like you' and I'm like OMG I'm not judging you, don't worry about it! It's weird, I think I'm more comfortable telling a porn star there's nothing wrong with her than this lady I've been talking about. rofl

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    Oh wow. That kind of stuff on the west coast huh? That's kind of troubling but I'm actually really happy that there's some diversity over there. I love diversity. Embrace to the extreme!!
    People will always bitch about something. Always. Retail is hell but customer service is a nightmare IN hell. Urrgghhhh.

    It is pretty depressing. Kids need to know these things before the hormones start reacting. It's almost like we're regressing backwards with what we teach children. Don't teach them this or that but pick them up the latest GTA game without reading the warnings. Friggen people.

    What?! Stupid Pastor. I really dislike that kind of behavior. Do they not receive enough money as it is? Do they need to bug their community members like a bum shaking a cup on the street? (where I'd rather give my change to)
    Maybe I'll be like her too. Not knowing what will happen but I think that's kind of an adventure.

    I dunno. I kind of grew up with it so it always looked kind of natural to me. Sign Language. My aunts and uncles would always have different kinds of people over. The lady from China would bring a box of red candy for us. Ahh such good candies.

    Oh wow. Good luck today. This lady and her craziness. You guys are gettin a lot of business with this religious tea bag.
    And porn stars are fun people to be around. Not shy about much. It's kind of where you learn a lot of some really disturbing terms (that I won't get into LOL) but fun. I think after your first couple of years drawing nude people seeing nudity is just another way to study drawing the human body. Religious bible humpers are usually the ones who end up censoring our shenanigans.

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      Oh retail...so many amazing memories. XD

      AH that's a good point! Oh, playing a violent game? That's ok. Trying to learn about sex? OMG NOOO. I think there was an episode in South Park where the kids figured out they can get their parents to leave them alone about sex by talking about violence or something. Or Bob's Burgers. I've been watching both. I can't remember XD But it's true.

      Rofl I love your rage - I really do. XD Yea, I have anxiety about my future, too. My mom always says though that when there is a will there is a way, so I always tell myself that and it's easier to not be afraid of the worst.

      That's got to be quite an experience to meet people from all over - it's always fun to learn about other places :)

      Phew - today was good. She just need some things fixed on her book thingy which I told her I'd fix. I don't know what happened to it. It's a disaster. And yea, nudity doesn't bother me at all. I almost want to be like, ma'am, you are very lovely as you are, and I think you should pose as an art model. I can only imagine it's much more relaxing and not as exhausting as actual porn. And it's ok, I know some of those terms. XD And I agree - the super religious ones tend to look down upon it, despite having an almost nude man in their churches. ;>>

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        LOL that makes no sense see? Though some games you learn a little about both. GTA has hookers and getaway vehicles. Teaches you how to run from cops and all that. Ohhh?? South Park or something made an episode about it? Now THAT is saying something. When comedians can joke about the horrible things in our society it's time to stop and rethink things. They usually have a point.

        That's good too! You're needed someplace else and you have another adventure to look forward to. That's pretty much how I see it. We don't know what really happens to us after we pass on. That kind of stuff is hard for us to determine. Course that's my opinion. People are cool to have their own and all that. I just don't believe I'm going to hell because I've hated someone.

        Oh it is! If I could take people with me I would. So that more people can experience so much more. Life is a journey! So much to see! So very little time to do it in.

        Oh phew. Hopefully you don't have too many more problems with her in the future.
        Oh I'm sure it can be. The art students treat models very well. Clothed and not clothed. Though I imagine porn stars make more money then nude models do. They make maybe 4-500 here per session. My favorite one so far was the male ballerina. >3> So flexible.
        Yeah... probably shouldn't bring it up though. I got ripped a new one by saying that to my dad after he found my nude model studies from art college.
        "Well... Jesus is nearly nude and you look at him everyday"
        They snap back with some pretty crude retorts with that one. Then they're like "you're goin to hell anyway, demons don't get to talk about our God." and I'm like "I wasn't talking about God unless you see God almost nude too."
        It just goes on and on. LOL and I feel like I've degraded myself to an 8 year old bickering about which Transformer was the best in yesterday's program. LOL
        I feel I have now insulted religion with that analogy.

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          South Park and Bob's Burgers have a lot of episodes like that. South Park is just more...explicit XD

          And omg XD That's basically how it goes. It's a perfect analogy. 'Well I'm nicer / better than you so I get to sit in god's special seat'. It's like ommmggg staahhhpp.