This week marks the beginning of spring break for us here so I should have a nice amount of free time to get some stuff done! And hopefully relax a bit and play some games. Financially, things have been stabilizing a lot more now and some of those major stressors are relaxing their grip on me, so I'm finally able to just stop worrying so much, and maybe I'll be able to get out of this funk.

Yeah, I was in a funk. I generally don't talk too much about my life and stuff because... well, I would say I don't want you guys to worry but it's more selfish than that, really. I'm just not all that social. I have a hard time opening up about myself, mostly with the bad stuff. I suppose I'm really not cut out for this age of social media. While everyone else is out there really kicking butt I have a hard time even putting out a tweet or anything like that. And every time I do I get really self-conscious about it. I don't know, I guess it's just something I have to work on...

Anyway, I got to play Dark Souls 2 yesterday night. My brother got the PS3 version so I went over to play it because I'm too excited to just wait another month and a half for my PC preorder to come in. I'm happy to say I was up all night with the game because it's just so good I couldn't let sleep get in the way. There's something fascinating about Dark Souls, and it's so unlike almost any other game. From Software has a real grasp on what makes a challenge really fun and engaging, and they really knocked this game out of the park. There's plenty enough that's totally new and fresh to keep it super exciting from the very start if you're a veteran, and it introduces new players to the very unique mindset and controls necessary to understand and best the game in a great way. The new mechanics and layout of the game gives it a much more open and explorable design that I think could be inviting to just about any sort of gamer, while not sacrificing on the difficulty. I'm really in love with just about everything about this one.

I'm sure everyone who has followed me for a while probably wonders how my own game projects are coming along. I have a lot of things in store but I really don't want to rush anything out. I know I was hoping to put out a demo in January but the situation changed a lot and my focus shifted. The game isn't shelved like the projects before it right now, but it is on temporary hiatus until I figure out how I want to progress with it. The major thing is, through the course of the last year I really started to dig into Unity and I'm really liking it now. It gives me the ability to have a level of polish and usability in multiple platforms that I don't feel like Game Maker offers at all. I look at what I have on that front and my game is nice and all but I feel much less certain in its viability as a commercial product. What I may end up doing is finding a way to reduce the game down to a more manageable project and just putting it out there for free.

But I really want to get something out there that I can be proud of, and I have some stuff in the works on that front. Mostly, really quick stuff to cut my teeth on. I find that I end up sinking my teeth into projects that ultimately require a lot of investment of my time in order to get something worth putting out there, and this time I was trying to both make something I wanted and something I thought you guys would be really into as well. I love it, but at the same time the investment is still pretty substantial, especially with the product not really being at what I feel is a commercial level. Part of that is my "cheap" stylistic choices, and another part is Game Maker sort of holding back its potential. So, I'm putting that off while I figure out a way to tie it all up and make it available to you guys, and in the mean time I'm focusing on something I can actually finish and feel good about.

So in all this, my ability to set aside time for art has taken a pretty serious hit. I really wish I could just leave my bad habits behind and spend that time doing art, but that's something I will have to work on, perhaps now that things are less stressful. I'm losing more time than I want to thanks to Puzzle and Dragons having me by the balls and the internet offering plenty of distractions to fill my day. I still manage to get a fair amount of work done every day but it's mostly been focused on those projects, rather than art and things I can share here. I do hope to get back that time and do more art, because it's something I enjoy. (obviously)

As for commissions, those may be getting phased out slowly over the next few months. I'm not sure if I will stop taking commissions altogether, but it's possible. I'm about to finish up with my college degree in a couple months, and I'm going to be starting more serious work and trying to get my career off the ground for real now. With adult life started, and myself trying to get into the indie game development scene and trying to get some bigger studio experience, I'm not sure I'll be able to spend my time on much else.

It's pretty exciting, but also pretty scary. I don't really know what to expect but just know that whatever happens I won't just leave you guys hanging. Some people seem to think that furry life and "real" life are incompatible somehow, or that I can't interact with people while simultaneously being a (hopefully) successful adult. I don't think that's true. I'm never going to stop being me. When I created this account I solidified who I was and what I stood for. I know what I want and I think I know how to get there. The path is pretty wide open from where I'm standing. I just hope I can have a good life, whatever it might entail.

This has been my crazy stream-of-consciousness journal. If you made it this far then come by any time for a hug, because I owe you one. :>