Greetings brothers and sisters. It's unfortunate that I need to remind people that the TTS-39 Magno-Accelerated Rivet Gun is NOT a toy. We recently had a Gremlin who will remain unnamed, sustain a minor injury to his, shall we say, lower backside, as a result of the unsafe handling of the TTS-39 unit. So I ask you all, PLEASE be careful and use the correct safety procedures while handing, or operating tools, equipment, and machinery. On a positive note however, I would like to announce that prior to this unfortunate incident, we here at the 902nd Experimental Engineering Battalion went a full 11 DAYS without a workplace accident! I'm also proud to announce that this is a NEW RECORD for our Division! You should be proud of yourselves! Give yourselves all a pat on the back and let's try to go for 12 next time. If we're going to win this war, we need every Gremlin in tip top shape, with all extremities properly attached. In addition, equipment, tools, and machinery are costly to repair or replace. Thank you for your attention in this matter, and have a safe day.
For the Glory of The Cradle.
-Schemer Brush, CO, 902nd Experimental Engineering Battalion.