Sign In

Close
Forgot your password? No account yet?

well screw it all by EmilyThePenguin

I wouldn't have enough money for AC even if I tried. I'm in the middle of nowhere and I don't have enough furry friends to even consider wanting to tag along (even if they did have the money)

I'm too much of a dreamer, and that is really frustrating me lately. Because I PRIDE in being a dreamer. I don't give up.

But then real life shows up and smacks me in the face.

why else am I in a long distance relationship? I've got this freaking stupid glimmer of hope that he'll come see me. He sure as hell doesn't want me to go see him. I had my own mom tell me she doesn't view us as a couple anymore and that he will never leave home. That shit hurts.

why else do I want to be an artist? Because I've got this moronic idea that my art will be good enough to make others happy and be successful.

one of my favorite artists ever mentioned that she has to get a second job outside of her art... and like, she's my idol. Even she can't make it.

so no, I can't go to Anthrocon, it is too much money and I wouldn't have anyone to room with

I'm sorry for this. But I am so frustrated.

well screw it all

EmilyThePenguin

Journal Information

Views:
167
Comments:
8
Favorites:
1
Rating:
General

Tags

Comments

  • Link

    MrHg

    Try not to give up, even if you are frustrated. Things may get better with time.

    • Link

      EmilyThePenguin

      it is pretty hard not to.
      I just feel stuck in this loop..

      • Link

        MrHg

        I know the feeling. After trying to get traction for a number of ideas that I think would have been beneficial to the local city, all I'm really left with is a lot of wasted time. But you really can't let that stop you from doing something you like (you do like drawing, right?) or trying to do things you want to do (like go to Anthrocon!). Just because you don't have the necessary amount of funds to do things doesn't mean you should stop trying to do them. You just need to find another way to go about doing it. Maybe that means taking a second job, like your idol. If that idea is absolutely revolting to you, then challenge yourself to do better. Do more art. Get better at it. Find new ways to sell it (maybe locally?).

        But when you give up, then you don't move forward. You stagnate and things don't get better. Which kind of puts you in a dilemma. Do you work hard and face the pain of having to tough through art block and living stingy for a while? Or do you wallow in the bad times you have now?

        If I recall, you put together a decent amount of money for charity with your art, so I know you can be doing more.

        Go do more.

        • Link

          EmilyThePenguin

          thing is... I will be getting a job over the summer. I rarely get commissions in the first place... but I have just run out of time. I can't make it alone, and I don't wanna room with strangers..

          I just can't wait for school to be over. I would LOVE to do more... especially more than just AP classes and homework....

          anywho... thank you. thank you very much

          • Link

            MrHg

            It'll get better with time. College is a whole other ballgame, but over time, you'll find ways to make things work. Best of luck. : 3

  • Link

    Bethany

    I'm very sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time right now. I remember back to all of the drama and stress I went through as a teenager and young adult, and how miserable I was at times... It can seem so unfair at the time, and like the whole world is pitted against you and your interests/wants/needs. The best advice I can give is to just keep your chin up, try to stay positive and keep on going. There's always going to be some form of negativity in life, and a lot of the time you won't get to do the things you really want to, but as you grow and learn, you'll find ways to balance the bad with the good. It does get easier, I promise. You're a bright and intelligent person and I know you'll do wonderfully in life. Just hang in there for now and try to keep a smile on your face, never give up, and do whatever little things you can every day to make yourself and those you care about a little happier. :)

    • Link

      EmilyThePenguin

      I'm genuinely afraid of it getting worse, thanks for my hearing disorder.

      I can only hope.

      but thank you <:} that means a lot

  • Link

    StudMovieGirl85

    I'm very sorry that you're going through a tough time. I guess that's what I'm trying to do now and I'm trying to get through it. The only thing I can really say (and what a couple of people most likely did say) is try to hang in there and good luck!