I wouldn't have enough money for AC even if I tried. I'm in the middle of nowhere and I don't have enough furry friends to even consider wanting to tag along (even if they did have the money)

I'm too much of a dreamer, and that is really frustrating me lately. Because I PRIDE in being a dreamer. I don't give up.

But then real life shows up and smacks me in the face.

why else am I in a long distance relationship? I've got this freaking stupid glimmer of hope that he'll come see me. He sure as hell doesn't want me to go see him. I had my own mom tell me she doesn't view us as a couple anymore and that he will never leave home. That shit hurts.

why else do I want to be an artist? Because I've got this moronic idea that my art will be good enough to make others happy and be successful.

one of my favorite artists ever mentioned that she has to get a second job outside of her art... and like, she's my idol. Even she can't make it.

so no, I can't go to Anthrocon, it is too much money and I wouldn't have anyone to room with

I'm sorry for this. But I am so frustrated.