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Really Struggling by Threetails
Long story short, I'm at a low point right now and I'm really having to force myself to get through the term.
Still having serious doubts about my sanity, but on top of that, I'm slogging through a major burnout on academic life, I'm stressing over how passable I am, and I'm stressing over how I'm going to manage all the banks, creditors, and interested parties about my upcoming name and gender marker change.
I have a lot on my plate and it's really getting to me. Old insecurities are showing, new ones are emerging, and work on projects has ground to a halt while I reserve 100% of my energy toward simply passing my current courses.
I'm seriously thinking about traveling this spring but I'm not sure where. If nothing else I might just take a train out to Astoria and hang out down there, it's a nice little scenic town with interesting wildlife, home cooking restaurants, big antique stores, and a maritime museum I'm really curious about.
Meanwhile, forgive me if I'm worse than usual.
Really Struggling
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Yeah, I'm not far from there. I think an Amtrak fare is like $15 from Portland and it's a nice scenic train ride along the Columbia River. I've been there once before, passed through while taking a drive along the Oregon coast (went out to Astoria, then down Highway 101 to Lincoln City).
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Ahhh.. I'm envious. Man I miss Oregon. I got yanked out of the state as a teen, right as I was flourishing... life's never been the same for me since then, heh. Funny how I was just discussing this today. But yeah, this is about you, not me, sorry! Taking a trip to Astoria sounds like a good idea, you should totally go for it.
I wish you well on the rest. I finished up university last May and people keep telling me to go get my Masters, and I really just want to be done with academia for life; I empathize with the burnout a lot. Do what you can to try and treat yourself well, even through all the intense stress you're assuredly going through.
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Rory
Astoria? Astoria, Oregon? o: I took the (I think) Lewis and Clark train thing over there once to spend the afternoon, and I remember there being some really big lighthouse/tower sort of thing where you could go to the top. Also, the restaurant we went to was pretty delicious, I think it was on the first floor of a little hotel. It was quite a long time ago (over ten years now, god...), but I did enjoy it. Didn't get to go to the museum on the waterfront, but I still remember it visually.