So there are tons of people in Colorado who have loads and loads of children. I nickname them "Rabbit families".

One rabbit family in general apparently can't control any of their kids - and didn't realize this until after they had six kids.

So who is in this family, we have:

Mom

Dad

Snitty Teen Brat, who has hit that age where she doesn't care about anything at all, and honestly wishes everyone except for her would die.

Angel, the kid who has just discovered the wonders of technology and occupies himself reading on the phone... or probably texting... or playing a game.

Thing One and Thing Two. Or Cain and Abel, whichever you prefer. These are those two siblings who absolutely hate each other. Neither can live while the other survives, so as a result, their but one goal in life is to kill the other one. And even then at the funeral, you might have to restrain the sruvivor from jumping in the grave and trying to beat up his brother's corpse to ensure his death.

The Girl Flash, whose diet consists entirely off of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and espresso.

And Babby! S/he has just learned a new letter: E. S/he also has another gift: The stamina AND vigor that would allow her to play the role of Brunhild in the opera. S/he is so proud of both her vocal vigor and that s/he has just learned the letter "E" that s/he will let everyone know!

The minivan drives up to the restaurant. Girl Flash probably runs out and makes three laps around the world in the time it takes for Mom and Dad to pull Thing One and Thing Two apart. Snitty teenage brat just can't care at all. They enter, and ask for a table for eight. They have to look away from Thing One and Thing Two... and in the three seconds that they look away, tehy are already trying to strangle each other, while Girl Flash is hopping up and down on a bench like a trampoline.

The entire family spends roughly five minutes trying to decide who should sit where, and make perhaps the dumbest seating arrangement ever: Thing One and Thing Two are apart from each other. Mom and dad pay no attention to that side of the table because Angel is too busy reading anything. Mom and Dad start going off on a huge lecture to Sabrina, the Teenaged Bitch, while occasionally trying to stop Babby from shouting "EEEEEEEEEEE!", and once yelling at Thing One and Thing Two to knock it off or they will be punished. (Presumably, the punishment is allowing the other to live another night.) They also don't look at the Girl Flash, who has on three occasions run in and out o the bathroom, and then pranced around in the middle of the aisles while servers are trying to carry plates full of hot food.

Great seating arrangement, huh?

The cornbread and rolls end up on the floor while the Snit is too busy being a usual 14 year old self to care at all that her brothers are kicking each other under the table, or that her little sister has just caused a sonic boom running around the restaurant. (Or maybe that "boom" was just her baby sibling screaming "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE") Babby has by this point screamed for five minutes straight without stopping once to breathe.

Thing One and Thing two fire straw-wrappers at each other, and then realize they could use the straw to fire spitballs... none of which actually hits the intended target. Mom and dad brush off when people from the nearby tables complain at Thing One and Thing Two ripping up their napkins up and firing them at the nearby customers and servers. The Girl Flash finally gets bored of running around, and wears down all the crayons to a nub, while Thing One and Thing two throw them at each other like throwing darts, before trying to wrestle the last one from The Girl Flash.

Angel is actually well behaved and departs from the table to stop his little sister from running into a server, and occasionally picks up the crayons from the floor and keeps them, so they don't end up on the floor again. The Girl Flash manages to somehow get them, and manages to colour the entire table frantically.

Mom and dad don't care at all that Thing One and Thing Two are still tryign to kill each other, or that babby still keeps screaming "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!".

Food comes. Sabrina, the Teenaged Bitch gets in a fight with her parents. Thing One and Thing Two throw sugar packets at each other, pour salt in each others' drinks, and hurl pepper around. They have a sword fight with their dinner knives before Angel, mom, and dad confiscate them, then turn their attention to their own meals. The Girl Flash decides not to eat her macaroni and cheese and instead smashes it up into a million pieces under the table.

The family finally departs, much to the applause of the rest of the staff. The servers get an extra big tip for that, and two other customers even walk over to help clean up the mess despite that it is not their job.

Seriously guys, why did you have six kids if you can't even control one?!? You should ahve at least stopped with Angel, since he spent the entire meal minding his own business and trying to look out for his little sister. (He probably didnt' want to step in between his brothers' feud or else they'll decide that he must die.)

Everyone suffers tinnitus from the baby who screamed "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" non-stop for about an hour.