It's a new year. Life is full of opening opportunities and ways to get a fresh start.
For most of my life, I've been that quiet introvert; primarily because I got made fun of a lot as a kid. Sure I had friends, but it always seemed like up until high school, I was the one that always had to go seek out my friends to hang out with. I can't remember a time when one of my friends would call up and ask for me to come play (again, this was when I was little. Get yer mind outta the gutter.) At least up until 5th grade when I made my first real "friend." And it's only now, looking back, that I'm not sure I could call those other kids true friends, more like kids to hang out with to get out of my parents' hair for a while.

Anyways, as the years rolled on, I've made a few more friends. But, these are all people that I can count on through thick and thin and would lay down my life for if need be. I kinda like having a few really close friends rather than some gigantic social network of people that only call when they need a sofa moved. I'm socially awkward, definitely not what you would call a social butterfly.

I think as a result of my life experiences and my natural introvert tendencies, I'm rather awkward in conversation. I'm terrible with small talk. Seriously, I don't know what to do with it. So many people will come up and say "hi" and "how are you?" and I respond in kind. But after that, unless I already know you, I have no idea what to say. So, unless you manage to bring up something interesting, most of the time I have nothing to say.

Which brings me to my next point: If a conversation is going on, on a forum or in a chat room for instance, I usually lurk. Not because I'm afraid to speak, but because I usually don't interject unless I actually have something to add. There are plenty of people I would love to talk to and get to know better, but I don't know what to say or I don't want to open my mouth and say something stupid because I have no tact. My lack of tact has made some people think I'm an ass, and my mate has taken to poking me in the ribs whenever a semi controversial subject comes up when we're out with other people.

I bring all this up, because for the first time in a long time I feel like I'm alone. Sure, I have my mate, whom I love, and her family, but it would be nice to have some other friends to hang out with. A bit over a year ago we moved across the state so she could start a job she was offered, which meant leaving a good group of friends behind. I still keep in touch with them, which is super easy thanks to facebook and cellphones. The only real friend I made since I moved here moved to japan a couple of months ago, so I feel like I'm back to square one. I feel like being cooped up when I'm not at my part-time retail job (gotta do something to fill in the gaps between freelance clients after all) and it's slowly making me depressed.

I'm probably rambling at this point and I thank you if you're still reading. I want to start breaking out and, if nothing else, start really talking with people in real life and within the furry community. Even if I do end up getting stuck in front of my computer for long periods for one reason or another (mostly art reasons,) I wouldn't mind talking with people here, YIM or Steam. I may be an introvert, but I do need some social interaction to keep myself sane. I've been trying to at least break out and comment more on journals and art.

And, to help me get back into drawing more, I want to turn my Tumblr into more of an ask-sketch blog.
Tumblr
Please, feel free to talk to me about whatever's on your mind!