Well, (amusedflick) Evil Author™ is too timid to fill all this out right now, so I’m hacking into his account and will answer for myself.

What's your real name?
Aldin Busheytail

Where do you live? (added so that some of these other answers make a little more sense)
I live in a maple tree on the southeast shore of Nahmakanta Lake deep in the Maine wilderness, about 20 miles from the nearest human settlement. Draw an line from Greenville at the southern tip of Moosehead lake to Millinocket, just south of Baxter State Park. Nahmakanta is roughly half-way in the middle. There is a human sporting camp at the north end of the lake. My community has good relations with the humans who run that camp. We get our WiFi through them.

How tall are you?
Approximately 2 ft (60cm) from nose to tail tip. About half that is the tail, so if I can’t count it, then 1 ft (30cm).

What's your natural hair color?
If you mean fur, then peppery gray with some specks of brown mixed in a few spots along all the body except my belly/chest, which are white.

What's your eye color?
Brown, but you’d need to get real close to see it as squirrel pupils are rather large in comparison to the iris.

What's your orientation?
I’m currently curled up in my nesting hollow typing on a mini-flatpanel with my clawtips…oh, wait, this is one of those human things, right? (curiousflick) Sexual orientation, right? Of course seeing some of the artwork on this site, I can understand the reason for this question. Some of you have some rather strange tastes.
Answer: Straight and only with my own species.

Are you single, taken or undecided?
Happily mated.

What do you do in your spare time?
Banter on the Internet. Dig-up the food I stashed for the winter. Snuggle down with my mate. Avoid predators. (nervoustailtwitch) Enjoy life on day at a time.

What's your job or occupation?
I’m a small woodland creature. (honestflick) Why would I have a job other than the day-to-day task of avoiding predators and finding food? Ok, fine, I’ll let you in on my little sekrit. But don’t say I didn’t warn you not to pry! I’m retired. I use to do genetic research…lab work stuff in a sekrit facility here deep in the wilderness. I can’t go into a lot of details ‘cause it’s sekrit. (hushflick) My official title was “Mentat”. If I gave you more details about the sekrit war, you’d get dragged into it and might not survive. See my Evil Author™’s profile for a link for more info on that war if you really want to risk learning the Awful Truth™. Don’t come complaining to me later as you where (warnflick) not to go there by me.

What do you like about yourself?
Whoa, we’re getting deep here? Do you humans really share this kind of stuff so openly with others you’ve only met virtually? (curioustailflick) What do I like about myself? I keep my word. Even if I state something cryptically, I keep my word. Careful what you ask of me.

What do you dislike about yourself?
Some portions of my past. There was a time when I was working against the human race. Some of my genetics research was aimed at the destruction of the human race. You can’t blame me for that time in my life. Humans had killed my parents for sport, not for food. Those that raised me were anti-human and I bought into their propaganda. It took some time for me to realize that humans are the lesser of the two evils in this world. That and the realization that some of my actions seemed to be controlled by some greater, evil entity that I simply refer to as the Evil Author™.

What did your friends notice about you when they first met you?
Holy (insert deity or cuss word of choice here)! He’s really a talking squirrel!!!

What is your belief/religion if you believe in anything at all?
The closest human belief/religion to that of my kind you’d consider a combination of Wicca/Pagan/Native American. There is some sort of Creator out there. All living things are interwoven. “Mother Earth” is a creation of the great Creator. I have met one of the “spirits” who serves this Creator. This “spirit” is very similar to Pamola of local Native American lore, except more chimera of woodland creatures and no human mixed in. My community celebrates the seasons. We have a “thanksgiving” of sorts when the bounty of the forest has been stored for the winter. We celebrate the winter solstice knowing the days are starting to get longer again. We celebrate the spring equinox knowing that winter is almost over in the Maine wilderness. There are some former slaves in the community who believe in an afterlife in “The One Tree”. It is difficult to describe this concept to non-squirrels. Envision a tree that is a combination of many tree species so vast in size that there is no need to leave it for anything you want or desire. It has more nesting hollows then will ever be needed, plentiful food among its branches, and shade and protection from harsh weather and predators. I don’t know if I believe in an afterlife or not or this “One Tree” concept. When the time comes, I’ll find out.

Do you drink?
Assuming this is in reference to human consumption of alcohol, no. Squirrels and alcohol are not a good combination. Our livers are much smaller than a human’s. As such, our tolerance would probably be a lot lower. It’s probably more dangerous than consuming caffeine.

Do you smoke?
Spirit, no! What a nasty and foul habit. Life is already too short without doing that kind of damage to your body.

What are your major fears?
Evil Author™, predators, and not being able to store enough food for the winter, in that order.

Do you have any dreams or goals?
I’m retired. I’ve met most of my dreams and goals. I had a successful career. I’m happily mated. Our pups are doing well in their own careers. The only goal I didn’t accomplish was forcefully transforming my worst enemy into a chipmunk against their will. (deviousflick) However, if said enemy is ever captured, I’ll come out of retirement specifically to perform that task. It is against the laws of our community to forcefully transform someone against their will, but I’m sure I can get special dispensation from said law in this case.

Have you ever had a crush or an ex?
Not in those terms. My current mate is my second mate. My first mate vanished in battle with the enemy and was presumed dead. My current mate gave me time to morn my loss before courting me.

Who's your best buddy?
My current mate, Ash Puffcheeks. Among humans, Eugene Pomerleau, the leader in the local human faction in the sekrit war. Our human neighbors at the far end of the lake are also good friends, but they’ll never admit to our existence unless you know the password, which we only give to those we fully trust.

What's your favorite dish?
Being a squirrel, I’m into simple fare. I don’t go into the elaborate preparation of food that you humans seem to do. My favorite nuts are pistachios. They are a special treat as they don’t grow up here in Maine. Among human-prepared food, Evil Author™’s blondie-style whoopie pies are to die for. I’m sure the normal ones are good too, but cocoa is not safe for squirrel consumption.

What's your favorite drink?
Ice cold spring water. There is this wonderful spring that bubbles straight out of the ground not too far from my tree. It trickles down hill forming a small brook that feeds into the nearby lake. The sound is soothing to the ear and you can’t get colder water without ice. When entertaining human guests at the sporting camp at the far end of the lake, I’ll have herbal tea in a thimble-sized cup.

What's your favorite color?
You know…I’ve never picked one. (ponderflick) Maybe the various shades of red and orange I see in the Maine wilderness in the fall.

If you had a super power, what would it be?
The ability to short out electronic equipment, especially cellphones, by mere thought.

What's your favorite movie?
I don’t watch movies all that often. You ever try to lug a DVD player and mini-tv into a tree hollow? Never mind rigging-up either a tiny windmill or solar panel to power’em? (curiousflick) And it’s over a day’s journey by paw to the nearest human movie theater. While our neighbors supply us with WiFi, it’s not like they’re connected to a fiber cable that would enable us to stream movies. Of the few I’ve seen, the scenery in Disney’s Bambi is very much like my home woods. Then again, the animators used photos of the Maine woods as their inspiration.

What's your least favorite food?
Most human, over-processed food.

What's the last meal you want before you die?
That’s a rather morbid question. It’s not like I’m going to suddenly realize: “Oh, I’m about to die, I should have my last meal…” More likely, I’m going to be too busy doing my best to dodge the predator’s claws/talons streaking at me to worry about my “last meal”. So, I have no answer to this.

What do you drive and what would you really like to drive?
I don’t currently drive. I don’t currently have access to a human vehicle rigged so I can drive it. I once had access to such a vehicle. It was sweet! It was an ’82 Chevy Impala Station Wagon mounted on a full-size pick-up truck chassis with off-road suspension & tires. That last part is a must if you live more than 20 miles from the nearest human settlement, deep in the Maine wilderness. Oh and it had a 350 V8 with a quad-barrel carb. You pushed down on the accelerator and could feel the power! I was real good when I got to drive it. I didn’t run any humans over, though I was quite tempted. You could haul a year’s supply of food for most of the community in the back of that thing.

What is your most disliked bug?
Depends on where I am and the time of year. Here in Maine, you’ve got to deal with biting flies of various sizes, fleas, and much more recently ticks, some which carry Lyme Disease (drooptail). You have any idea how much of a pain it is to set-up a flea dip when you need to have the supplies shipped in to do so, and your mail drop is nearly 20 miles away? Fortunately, we have good neighbors, as I’ve mentioned before, who will gladly pick-up our mail at the same time as they retrieve their own. If I’m visiting friends down south, then I have to deal with botflies. (shudderflick) Those buggers are the absolute worst as they will lay their eggs in you.

What is your biggest pet peeve?
Humans mixing my kind up with chipmunks and asking if I can talk in a real high pitched voice like the cartoon character, Alvin. Now, provided, when I speak human, it is in a higher pitched voice simple because of the smaller vocal cords, but it’s not at the squeaky pitch of that cartoon character.

What do you dislike in life?
How much influence Evil Author™ has had in it, but without him, I don’t know if I’d even exist. (drooptail) I also dislike both the sekrit war and how you humans tend to kill each other for little or no reason.

Maybe, just maybe Evil Author™ will answer this by the weekend.