What's your real name?
Heather Lynn :B
How tall are you?
5'5 or so
What's your natural hair color?
Dark brown, right now a light auburn. In the past year it's been blue, orange, fire engine red, deep burgundy and natural.
What's your eye color?
What's your orientation?
I like boobs and the almighty panus
Are you single, taken or undecided?
I am married, yo.
What do you do in your spare time?
I take care of my two little monsters, snuggle my old man dog, and occasionally clean
What's your job or occupation?
Freelance Illustrator :B
What do you like about yourself?
MAH BOOBS. And my drive and motivation to work, which is like 75% of what it takes to do art full time? I'm a great salesperson from over 4 years of working at a porno store ;D
What do you dislike about yourself?
MY FUPA. Nah notrly. I'm pretty self conscious but I like to pad it with a thick layer of boistrous confidence ;D
What did your friends notice about you when they first met you?
MAH BOOBS. And I can be funny sometimes!
What is your belief/religion if you believe in anything at all?
Agnostic, but you guys feel free to worship MAH BOOBS.
Do you drink?
At cons and every now and then I'll do a drunk stream where I'll try to draw and everyone will look like mice.
Do you smoke?
Ew hell no. I'm allergic to cigarette smoke.
What are your major fears?
That I will go blind :[ My vision is awful and I have a hole in my right eye.
Do you have any dreams or goals?
I want to one day be a GoH at a convention, pipe dream as it may be. I also want to network more and to the point to where I can sell more merchandise and cut down on commissions.
Have you ever had a crush or an ex?
I have a lot of ex's, and have had a lot of crushes?
Who's your best buddy?
I have a couple favorite people 8D Miss Korth, Nyil, Dasha are a couple, though TheJeweledHorn and I have been chatting a lot lately and I'm really enjoying it <3
What's your favorite dish?
MEAT. If it used to breath, chances are I'll eat it.
What's your favorite drink?
RUMCHATA. Or pussy girly drinks.
What's your favorite color?
If you had a super power, what would it be?
Talking to animals? Or limitless IDEAS for drawing.
What's your favorite movie?
The Labyrinth, Repo!, Frozen >.>
What's your least favorite food?
Oysters, slimy things, fast food nowadays
What's the last meal you want before you die?
A slice from every animal
What do you drive and what would you really like to drive?
I hate driving. I don't have a license, but am forcing myself to get one. I have a big SUV though.
What is your most disliked bug?
What pet peeves do you dislike the most?
Having to repeat myself, People who chew with their mouths open, when people bullshit and it's obvious
What do you dislike in life?
BILLS. MOUNTAINS OF BILLS AND DEBT. Also taxes.
Some of this I knew. some I did not. your boobs were not the first thing I noticed. I noticed your sandals first. ;P
Huh..what was it like working at a porno store? I feel like it's weird getting those people that are all shameful and don't make eye contact.
I loved it! We were an "upscale boutique", but by no means was I ever forced to put up with creepers, I was able to enforce my wit and anger towards them :D! We got A LOT of the guys that wouldn't make eye contact with me, and then when they did they'd about have heart attacks when they found out I knew my shit and had a better knowledge of porn than they did ;D! Crap pay or not, it would have definitely been a career-worthy job for me (with art on the side), had the higher ups not viewed everyone that worked there as disposable :) I really miss working there, I like feeling that I help people <3
Scribbles down "Note to self ask Outlandish when seeking sex advice"
I mean I guess it's just where I've lived and grown up, I've just seen a lot of sleezy looking porn shops that just have shifty lookin' folks. An "upscale boutique" is something I think I'd enjoy seeing or visiting, I just haven't been able to do so. I mean I can imagine in a setting like that personable employees would be able to help. I guess the awkwardness of being a customer in a porn shop is asking someone that's an employee if their advice and critiques on products stems from personal use, and then delving into their sex life. Did you ever find that to be an issue?
Ew yeah, I've been to a LOT of truckstop pornstores and they are so gross x-x I've always felt so bad if there were girls working there, I've witnessed some really awful encounters :( But yeah, I worked for a chain called Cirilla's, which has around 60 stores in the US at the moment, and boasts brightly lit stores and knowledgeable sales associates lol. And yeah, in those four years I worked between 4 different locations in the city I lived in, and witnessed 50 or so coworkers not last. You HAVE to be omgpeppy and really good with customers or you don't work out for it.
Funnily enough, my very first day on the job I handled a phone call from a woman who tried to get me to describe how I masturbated @_@ It threw me for a loop, but you get used to deflecting such things haha, or telling them off :D OR calling them back after hanging up on them and threatening to call at random times to get in contact with their significant other, because caller ID is a bitch ;D
I mean I feel like there's a fine line between implying things about someone's sex life and being sexually harassing. Like I went into one with a friend who was looking for lube for anal, and the girl that helped us was just like "in my experience blah blah blah" so I mean that in my opinion kinda begs the "how does she know that." Question that always has made me. Blush >>. So I mean how much in your experiences at least, would you make recommendations to customers based on your own experiences? And where you ever comfortable with openly talking about them with people who wanted your opinions on specific products?
All the time! I'm fairly good at reading people, at least people that came into the store, and anyone that didn't set off my creeper radar would get anything they asked answered, usually with my own experiences. I've tried MOST of what the store carried, whether store giveaways, free samples, market reps gifting or me purchasing myself. Probably 85-90% of the time I could fully open up to the customer, recommend the best lube for what they needed :D And toys, man I was pretty much the go-to girl for toy recommendations haha. We'd get lineups of 5-10 toys on the counter and put batteries in them all >:D
But yeah, most of the time I was able to speak from experiences. There would be the guys who would press for more, but I dealt with them quickly and pretty efficiently :D
I guess it also goes without saying that I am absolutely SHAMELESS and an open book!
I like your boobs. I like my boobs. I like my friends' boobs. There's a pattern here. :D