Exactly a week ago I started feeling pretty down. I knew my annual (mold) allergy attack was starting, but in all the years I've had it it's never gotten so bad, so fast. I'll spare you any details, but it usually hits a crescendo of awfulness a week after onset; a week later, it's gone. This time it took only two days to get to its worst, and has maintained this level since.

One new thing this year! I can only seem to sleep in half-hour/hour increments. Whatever dream I have feels like I'm trapped in a dark box or Japanese tube-hotel, and it lasts for what feel like hours. After an hour or half-hour passes, I immediately wake up, expecting it to have lasted a lot more than it has been. It takes a few minutes to catch my breath, but afterwards I either wrap back up in sheets to sleep, or take a short pacing walk around my apartment before doing the same. Neither helps, and I can't stay up for long at all. With zero energy, at 3:02 AM, I have no other choice but to push through it until the clock reads something closer to 9 and/or I give up trying.

I feel so exhausted all the time now. While I've always had bad insomnia, I've never actually felt a terror or dread at going to sleep- now, resting means yet another hour stretch of the same enclosed suffocating space. It's torture. I'm hoping it's either something from this unusually strong stretch of allergic attack or from all the stuff I'm taking to keep it from going nuclear. As it stands, it's awful enough thinking how or why something so persistent and awful could be impressing on my dreams/sleep hygiene like this without considering it as something that may linger.

I also had to pick my grandparents up and take them home. Six hours of driving that was apparently unnecessary because I could have just called to say I was sick (I did, several times, nobody picked up or listened to the messages.) It would have been nicer if I could cool down my heat flashes, but any time I would my grandfather would complain and then turn up the heat. Every ten minutes by grandmother would throw a fit because either I or my grandfather "weren't looking at the clouds/trees, aren't they pretty, no, over there, you're not LOOKING." It was miserable, but they had a good weekend and once again I've proved how dependable I am (hooray). seriously though if any of you are stuck in a bind (broken down car, need a ride) i'll do whatever is in my power to help

I'm sure I'll be well enough for FurFright, at least in every way but sleep. Even if my sleep is still completely ruined and terrifying, I know I'll have a great time seeing everyone there. I've needed something like this. ALSO it's completely non-infectious by the way. I won't be coughing in anyone's faces, but just having me there won't cause an outbreak of typhoid or something.