I'm in an abusive relationship and his name is.... by betsy

Yeah you guessed it. (apologies for this journal's girth)

Basically it's this. I've considered dumping FA for a long time anyway. Why? because it's a website for free art distribution (NOT PEOPLE). They're dime-o-dozen. You can find them pretty much anyplace, and if you find a good one or two you'd want to post to more then the other not-so-good one you should feel free to post to one but not the other right? ...well. Yeah, that's how it should work. For someone like me it's alittle bit tougher. For alot of us FA was our first official "anthro/furry" fanbase. I started off on DA actually, and for some reason moving from DA to FA was a piece of cake...probably because alot of the people who were following me and I was following were all on FA anyway... so that made the move easier. It was the people, not the website that made this easier.
I'm running into the same thing for Weasyl! Nearly everyone that consistently comments, faves, follows etc are here, and about 80% of the artists I love and can't live without are also here.

So what's the hold-up, right?

Well, the only difference here this time is that FA has become my go-to place to find all of my commission information, openings, etc etc. Commissions have become my income this past year, and I love it, and don't want to give that up. Especially with my anxiety/grief/depression being so all-over the place, working from home and earning far more then I could at any other-joe-job has been a blessing. BUT, Weasyl has made it easy for folks to transition without a hitch, and I DID just take my TOS/prices/guidelines documents offsite recently!

Ugh...and PR....PR is... very important. Basically I'm torn between what is the moral/right thing to do, and what is the more practical thing to do at this point. If I leave FA people complain, if I stay people complain. I just don't know what people want. When I'm seeing folks on my journals throwing words around like "ragequit", "drama", "furry-drama-lol" and "See ya! [derogatory comments about artists who are leaving]

I just wonder:
-ok...nothing about this bothers you even alittle? I'm no social justice warrior or anything, but something has seemed very fishy about this the whole time...especially when people started getting silenced.
-Are you just not fully educated about the situation beyond the accusations from 2010?

-Is following me on an alternate website so tedious and painful for you?
-Do you think this is normal "furry-drama"?

-Why are you even watching me if you're so quick to say "L8tr h8tr!" when I'm contemplating shifting my energy elsewhere?
...am I.... a piece of meat to you people? I actually do care about what people think of me, it's a weakness I guess.

I don't know.... what I'm getting at is for me, being someone who is constantly anxious, I don't want to hang my hat in a place with so much hate. There's always hate on FA, and now it's escalated to some ungodly level that I really don't feel like being a part of anymore.
For right now on Weasyl, I see nothing but members helping other members making their transition, cyber-back-pats, handshakes, welcomes...clean slate. It really is nice to see a website that's nearly 100% positive energy right now.

As of today, I will be shifting my energy to this site from FA. From now on I'll be treating FA like I do IB and SF. To me, FA is becoming the alternate website to Weasyl...not the other way around. I will keep my FA, keep my art up, and still post journals about commissions and sketch streams. On FA it's now officially just business (not that it wasn't already, basically), and watching the few artists that are left on my watchlist that do not have Weasyls yet. Everyone on my watchlist on FA who is here on Weasyl will be removed to keep things simple. Commissions nabbed from FA will be posted there, same with SF and IB...... but everything will be posted to Weasyl regardless of it's origin. Weasyl makes it easy for me to organize personal art, commissions, and gifts/trades, so why not post everything here right?! Weasyl is showing that camaraderie that I truly love about most furry-fans.

OK I have to stop this before it gets even longer and more rambly. Thanks to everyone who's followed me here from FA. You guys are pretty awesome. Together we will make this website awesome too.

Lookit that.... I posted to Weasyl first before FA! sobs

I'm in an abusive relationship and his name is....

betsy

20 January 2014 at 10:06:41 MST

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    FYI a lot of the people that are very vocally resisting it are probably trying to suck up to administration and 'look good' so they can ask for favors in the future. At least, that's what I'm seeing. Honestly, ignore or block them; responding to them or giving them any sort of opening beyond hiding their comments and blocking them just encourages them. They know they can get to you.

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      Ohhhh yes. This is pretty much what I suspect anyway, and I suppose I understand about covering one's Burt...but some people are so MEAN and soulless about this whole thing.

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    : )

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      :')

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    :) its such a beautiful day

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      The most glorious of days. :3

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    Oh golly, you can fav journals here!?

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      Inorite???!!! Another reason why Weasyl is awesome.

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    I had some big thing to say about all of this, but it just didn't type out quite right... Bottom line is, I can't see you, or anyone else losing much by dropping FA. Life is too short to let haters bring you down, and the people who really care about you and understand the reasons why people are fleeing will still be following and commissioning. Maybe FA will come back, like the Phoenix they've named their proposed site update after, but for the foreseeable future, Weasyl has MUCH better juju.

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      Much better ju-ju ahhhh! Honestly I'm not all that concerned at all now! I've been monitoring this site as it's been growing and nearly everyone who's been consistently involved in commenting, faving, joining me in the stream are all here now! My personal watchlist on FA I've shrunk down to 70something from 500something by watching elsewhere wherever possible. Nearly 80% of my favorite artists are either here or tumblr, or even deviantart. Basically...my cold feet ain't so cold anymore! So glad to see you here Kazi, thanks for always keeping up with me and my shenanigans.

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    Good on you. I find myself actually commenting here on Weasyl too... At FA I was just one of the silent swarms. Something about the better comments system makes me actually want to reply to things more. here. Something about this place is more appealing, I think; it may be because of the filtering process with how people were pushed to switch to Weasyl, so I -know- most of the fol here actually care about other people. So I feel more comfortable commenting and participating in the community...

    Also you can +fav journals here, like this. The most important feature.

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      Agreed! I also think that folks who may have gotten overlooked on FA have a chance at being recognized here :3

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        I think its also that, uh... you can just click on "...replied to your comment" and it will jump you straight to the comment. As far as I know, at FA you would still have to find your own comment to see the reply, if you were looking at a journal with hundreds of comments.

        I actively avoided using the social stuff at FA, though, so I may have just never noticed a better method.

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    I am very sorry you've received so much backlash on FA for even suggesting moving your prodigious energies over here. It's really sad and a trend I wish I didn't see pretty often at the moment. However, you (and many others) do feel that tremendous weight of social pressure and stigma to stay there, because hey, this is how you make your money. It's a really disgusting situation and I wish you, and all those like you, didn't have to be pulled into the crossfire.

    So while I couldn't blame you for seeing the idea as more work as an unattractive one, might I suggest just posting on both websites? I know that seems like an insurmountable task (especially if you wanna repost old stuff to help get yourself traction here), but there's actually an unbelievably easy solution. If you use google chrome (and seriously I'd download and use it for doing this alone, it's that good) download this addon: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/waxpost-weasyl-crossposte/boddplgmdhddfmchbifhpdpekfdaenjc/related?hl=en In case It's called Waxpost, and what it does is whenever you're on the page for one of your submission on FA, you'll see that little Weasyl hat in the address bar. Click that little Weasyl hat, and suddenly you're on the Weasyl art submission page, with everything that can be moved over, moved over. The submission itself, its description, the -tags- even, everything! From there all you gotta do is a pick a folder and rating for the pic, and you're done! It turns a scary mountain of work into a couple of four clicks of the mouse.

    But no matter what you do, as hard as it can be to do this at times, do what makes you comfortable, and what works for you. No one, and I mean no one is going to blame you for keeping up over there, since you rely on it so heavily for income. Just do right by yourself.

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      Thanks Gerrark as always. You've been so encouraging to me during this whole short transition period. Basically how I'm working FA is treating it like one of my alternate sites. FA gets FA-specific updates and nothing more. Shout are cleared, anyone I can follow elsewhere I have, and it's strictly a business presence. We'll see how things go but so far this seems to be the best choice considering. Honestly I doubt it'll make a difference if I stay or go on FA at this point because nearly 80% of my watchlist and watchers have migrated here. shrug In all actuality, who else am I aiming to reach out to? Well, new clientelle I suppose, same with being on SF and IB too. ANYWHO, Weasyl on the otherhand gets ALL the art. Not just site-specific commissions ;) Thanks again Gerrark for the encouragement. Oh and haven't used the wax-post thing yet, I'm looking forward to doing that though!

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    People have been such ignorant rags about this whole thing to the point where they're openly harassing and scorning artists that want to leave, just because they want to leave. It's pretty disgusting and speaks volumes of a good chunk of the userbase there. "OH YOU'LL JUST BE BACK IN A WEEK ANYWAY" um not with that bullshit attitude I'm not

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      Ugh this attitude pretty much speaks for easily 2/3 of the site's population. It's the same flavor of apathy that claims "It's cub porn, it's kids...but they're FICTIONAL kids."...yeah, that was the FIRST time I left FA. Second time was when I was getting harrassed for no longer accepting adult art on my commissions roster. Third time, yeah....

      The thing about this is that the people who are reacting negatively to me even THINKING about leaving is that they're all people crawling out of the woodwork. I'm wondering who the crap all of these people are! They obviously didn't care before so why should they care now? Ugh...I'm rambling. But yes the mob-mentality from either end of the spectrum was enough for me to make the move with the quickness. I'm too anxious for this shit. I've been a migrainy, distracted mess for a few days.

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      And outright personally attacking someone for making a choice. It's like they're trying to outright say 'you may not leave unless you have my permission'.

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        EXACTLY. Internet, you're killing me bro

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    I think if more awesome artists come here more awesome people will show up.

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      A-GREED. We must make this site MIGHTY and POWERFUL!

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    One of the things that kept me from Weasyl was there wasnt enough people on it. I felt Weasyl dropped the ball before about getting people hooked. Now with what has happened with FA, there has been a big push. The DDOS attacks have also shown what Weasyl is capable of. One issue I have had with FA is no folders. Every other art site I have been to has had this option. All in all, Weasyl has many good points to it. It all depends on who comes over. The more I see, the happier I am. I am glad you came here.

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      I'm so glad I came here. I could have been here forever ago if I accepted the few invites I got to try the beta. I was all "Invite to Weasyl, what the crap is this?" ignores...woops. I was concerned about the very VERY small audience here. Not that I mind a cozy base, but for business I was obviously worried. With so many folks taking off I decided to finally take that chance! So glad I did. I feel better and better all the time.

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    My client base is nowhere near the size or ferocity that yours is, but the majority of my customers came from FA. It was both a difficult and easy decision for me to leave FA. On the one hand, I will have a hard time building up a client base on a new site. On the other, I refuse to actively promote and support a site that so grotesquely censors and shits on their users. I would rather be on a smaller site where I feel that my concerns will not be swept under the carpet just to save face than to be somewhere where I will make more money.

    With so many new people come to Weasyl -DAILY-, I feel that there is a great amount of hope for this place. It's run by people that not only know what they're doing, but also listen to their users when they have questions, concerns, or suggestions.

    For what it's worth, I'm actually very proud of you for making the hard call and switching focus. I know the backlash makes a lot of artists wary of going against the vox populi, but I have a special admiration for the ones that stick to their guns and stand up for themselves, especially on an issue as grave as the one FA's choosing to ignore.

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      Thank you so much Rhaz. You've always been so supportive. I'm glad that you made the decision to shift as well. I'm sure you will do AMAZING. Btw Becca (Zuri) is here too! :iconrebecca-crossing: I was first very afraid of losing my fanbase but really in the end...I'm only losing the people who could care less. I don't need that kind of deadweight hanging off me. Besides, I'm still posting to FA, (for now lol) but only having a business presence like I do SF and IB. I'm through trying to explain to whining people, and seeing so much apathy to this situation. I don't need that level of negativity in my life.

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      Ugh see I'm still typing FA icons!!! >:I http://www.weasyl.com/~rebecca-crossing

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    Hear hear!
    I'm nervous about leaving FA entirely, but I'm disgusted with the recent stuff. Really, really disgusted. I almost couldn't care less about the coding stupidity - it could be fixed with a minimum of fuss if they'd just hire someone competent for once (yeah, hire) who wasn't more interested in the smell of their own code-farts than actually fixing stuff. It's gotten too big and bloated, with new submissions flashing past so fast nobody gets to see them. The market is so flooded with underselling artists that commissions for the less amazing of us are almost nonexistent if we want to make more than $3/hour.
    What really bothers me is the silencing. I'm a rape survivor. Multiple. The WORST part of it isn't the act itself, it's the backlash if you speak up. It's the blame and the shame and the not being believed, all whilst being tarred with the "lying agitator" brush and being heaped with scorn and abuse. ON TOP of the bodily violation. That's my situation, not the 2010 incident of course, but the patterns are all the same.
    You DO NOT protect those kinds of people, society at large does that pretty damn well by itself. You certainly don't appoint them to administrative positions and then suspend anyone who tries to point out what a completely ridiculous decision that is.

    Yeah, no respect left there. Moving forward - keeping one tentative foot in at FA just to tail off and leave a calling card, but I think unless something drastic happens I'm done with it. Too painful.

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      Ugh it's true. So many McArts for McPrices it's like...you get lost in a flood of people. I've gotta be real to myself here, my fanbase pretty much has already followed me here so I should have no problem reestablishing shop on Weasyl and neither should you since the audience is increasing everyday! This site is going to be awesome and I hope a lot of that negativity and cheapness that FA harbors does find its way in anytime soon.
      Ugh I am so sorry to hear about your struggle. Often times with the r word it doesn't always get a court conviction, perhaps because of fear and/or it being a close friend or a co-worker (I can relate) ...doesn't mean it didn't happen. Sometimes people are allowed to just get away with it while the victim tries to move on. Sometimes he-said-she-said is all you've got. In this case with Z, consensus says he is a rapist, whether it's "legit" or not sacrasm quotes it's still the general idea about him that a lot of folks have...sorry to say but it's true. It's touchy, so why go there. I don't care if he's saved 500 baby seals.

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    Oh, man. I feel bad for all of the artists like yourself that have to deal with all of this craziness. The atmosphere at FA has become so grotesquely caustic in the last couple of days. I find it really odd that people are taking many artists' decision to expand to other sites outside of FA so personally. And I'm just talking about ** expanding ** not ** abandoning. ** You're still on FA, like you said, so I don't really see what the fuss is about.

    And even if you were to abandon FA entirely for Weasyl—so what? The community is basically the same as FA's considering most everyone you find here currently has a presence on FA or at least had one at one point or another; this isn't a totally different entity outside the fandom. Even if they don't care to be an active Weasyl user, I don't see why they can't just make an account here and follow you and/or a select few people that have migrated from FA. They don't have to interact with anyone, they don't have to personalize their profile, they don't have to favorite a single piece of artwork, etc. They can go on their merry way being primarily active on FA with only checking their notifications on Weasyl once in a blue moon. Why is that so hard?

    If these people really support you and what you do, then this wouldn't even be an issue.

    There's such an 'Us vs. Them' mentality that both sides are guilty of and I find it all ridiculous. These are just two different websites that cater to the same crowd. Regardless of a person's stance on the issue regarding FA's staff (and my stance is a very critical one), we should be amicable and respect the artist's decision (and any user's, for that matter) about where they feel comfortable socializing and showcasing their work. People have legitimate reasons for staying on FA just like people have legitimate reasons for migrating to Weasyl.

    In closing, I'd like to add that no one is entitled to your artwork and shifting focus from one site to another is not akin to a slap to your critics' collective face—no matter how much they believe otherwise.

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      THIS THIS and THIS. The thing that bugs me the most is when someone is so sheltered by the FA that they couldn't even imagine just getting a lurker account. I got a tumblr SPECIFICALLY to watch artists from DA and FA who dumped the sites AGES ago. I don't post there, I don't respond to anything, I'm just a reblog-junkie. But the point remains, if the artist is that important to you, you're keep the lines up, plain and simple. There may be a day where I leap from the FA ship entirely, but right this minute isn't quite the time, yet? We'll see how things go...for now it pretty much is business as usual. All I've done is made my profile and watchlist minimal and it keeps shrinking everyday due to more and more people migrating elsewhere. Cleared the shouts, keepin' quiet...just posting updates and commissions, and nothing more. Us-vs-Them mentality is something that not only posses me off but stresses me out as a "business owner". It's a painful reminder that you CAN'T please everyone. Last thing I want to do is close doors...but really, they're closing the doors, not me.

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    Well know, whenever you go, I'll follow you betsy :3 anyone flippant about making a transition for others aaint worth the time u.u

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      ugly sobbing <333

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    I don't hold it against anyone who stays except the people who try and make the people leaving feel bad (like the ones you mentioned). My decision to leave was the result of years of build up and I'm not just jumping on some bandwagon uninformed, and I don't expect people to have my same feelings and experiences.

    I saw someone call another artist 'pathetic' for leaving and man my rageboner grew five sizes that day.

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      The guilt is EXHAUSTING Pie. The fact that people are taking artists migrating so personally is just baffling. I had a watcher comparing me and my watchers to a dog chasing a car the other day. I was like, ugh...are you real? All I'm doing is switching gears people do it all the time! Also on the same thread saying that an artist should give up a buck to every watcher they're abandoning... wanna talk rage-boners. I pretty much said " yo, it's my gallery I'll do what I want, if someone doesn't want to follow me elsewhere, fine be that way." Whether or not he was serious about the giving up a dollar thing it still was pretty hurtful. I don't owe these folks anything, I chose to share my art and I chose to make it a business as well as a hobby. I have the power to take that away if I had to.

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        " I don't owe these folks anything" this is very important to remember. The implication any artist owes FA itself loyalty I've seen bandied around gets my goat too.

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    Most of the things that could be said, have been said by the people who posted before me. But I do like you to know I love your art, and I was happy to bump into you hear as well. I am glad you found your way here and I wish you the best of luck.

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      Thank you so much for the continued support here Thabo :3

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    I don't have much to say but you've brought a lot buzzing around my own head into clear questions that make so much sense. I have noticed FA made a journal stating they tend to address the issue and I do want to kinda see what will happen (sinking sensation in my stomach tho) but generally, I see the positive around here and am actually trying to get involved myself (unlike on FA where I really just... besides wrist pain, just... eh.