I have created this monster infinite loop of antiproductivity. Back when I built my fursuit, and when I was doing tons of art several years ago I was working part time. I had time (somewhat) to do things. I know there are people who work full time like I do now and STILL have time for intricate projects, but when I get home from work I am tired and I want to relax. I do not know if it's because I get stressed easily or what... but I want to do small fiddly doodles and crafts that I can finish in under an hour and not feel pressured about (my drawings look kinda toony and simple and I know other artists could churn out the same level of work or better quickly but I am SO SLOW and finicky when I draw that they take hours and hours). The trouble is I still have this backlog of stuff I meant to do and didn't get to. I feel guilty having it sit there and feel like I should complete it before I start on a new tiny ("worthless") project. But I don't have the energy or time or patience so instead I do nothing at all. Then I feel worse still, because not only haven't I touched that backlog, but now I'm not doing anything creative at all.

Anyway, it kinda boiled over today because there is a little yarn shop in town and I saw it was going out of business. When I first moved here a year ago I thought it'd be cool to go in there and pick up some stuff and learn to crochet but I didn't want to until I caught up on projects. Well now the store is going to be gone in 3 weeks and I haven't finished any of those outstanding projects from a year ago so I grumbled and growled and bought a book and some stuff to start learning crochet dammit.

But I still feel guilty.