..pretty much..

So, after two months of painfully waiting to get an internet connection home, I’m back again!

This is going to be a helluva long journal concerning many things. I’ll just divide it into points, so, since not everyone is interested in reading this whole junk, you can just skip to the point you’re interested.

CONCERNING ART

I’ve been sketching a lot but my free time is not much(keep in mind that I have a full time job and I live alone with a Border Collie pup), so uploads will be less frequent than the usual.

1)ABOUT THE CONTEST

I haven’t forgot about it don’t worry! Now that I have the internet, I’ll find some time to go look at every entry and choose the 3 winners :) And hopefully get the prizes done by this Xmas holiday.

2)THINGS I OWE

Contest Prizes (3)

Kiriban

Art Trade with Nightfell

If I have forgot somebody, please let me know!

3)ART STATUS

Commissions/Art Trades/Collaborations/(Requests) are CLOSED at least till I get the art I owe done!

I am willing to take a few trades then and maybe collabs too(?)[If anyone is interested] Because they are way too much fun! And I am in need of art of my characters drawn in other styles~

LIFE UPDATES

Ooooh this is got to be the funniest part!{Insert sarcastic grin here}

So where to start eh? WARNING: CONTAINS MINI RANTS HERE AND THERE

4)HOUSE

I’ve been busy. Moving takes a lot of time and energies.. and money.

I currently live in a small apartment(one room for everything and a bathroom) with a cute garden. It’s not big, but it’s 6 minutes by car from the place where I work so it allows me to come back home for the hour long lunch break! It’s kind of expensive though, so I need to find a better solution!

5)JOB

I DEFINITIVELY need to find another job. I mean, I know I am lucky I had this one, but the salary is low and I find it hard to get at the end of the month :(

I work full time job in a company that produces and sells Broadcasting material like Transmitters, modulators, microwave links etc..

But office job is not for me. I hate sitting for 8 hours in front of a pc..

I am looking for a job that has to do with drawing or dogs, which are my two passions, but it’s kind of hard to find anything :/

6)DOG

Yup. I managed to get my Border Collie pup, Dean, on the last 6th of October. He’s born 05/23/2013 and he’s a cutie. He’s a quick learner and always looking for cuddles from everyone! Definitively the opposite of me lol

He is all my life and happiness and everything I have.. and thanks to him I find the strength to keep fighting and following my dreams.

I will try to post some pics of him I promise!

7)HEALTH

Gah. I need to get my blood tested because of some health problems I am currently into. Balls.

8)SOCIAL LIFE

AHAHAH!!

As you may remember I am currently single. I don’t regret my decision to end the relationship I had with my ex, but sure is lonely. In February it will be a year I am single, already!

It may be because I am picky, I don’t know, but finding a soul mate is pretty damn hard. People tell me to go out, to bars and discos and they are sure I will find a guy.. but hell? What kind of guy could I find there? Most of them are total douche bags and I can’t find someone that loves the stuff I enjoy in places like that. So no thanks, I prefer being single. I have started to think I’m better off alone, though I wish I would be able to fill this emptiness I feel inside my heart by myself. I realized is pretty damn hard even for me.

I have changed a lot over the past few years and especially the last year. I’ve grown colder and I don’t give a fuck about people that don’t give a fuck about me or only pretend to. And I don’t care about saying what I truly think anymore. I think that’s why I don’t have many irl friends (only three actually and they all live far away from me..so I can’t even hang out with them..heh). I don’t know.. it’s just.. I find it hard to open myself to people and when I do I would give everything for them but, if I get hurt, that person is kinda dead to me, you know what I mean?

But yeah I am having a great social life and I can’t keep from feeling lonely and alone.

9)REAL RANT

Why can't I just be a total jerk who doesn't care about others at all? Why do I have to keep helping people and giving everything for the ones I love and when I need a small thing they just don't care? Why?

I tried and I tried to be selfish but I can't and even though I already have my problems I tend to leave them and take the ones of other people too and try to solve those instead and help them the way I can. Fuck I hate me. End of rant because it would just end in swears.

Well this wasn’t even that long as I thought.

One last thing!!

I WANT TO THANK ANYONE IN THIS COMMUNITY FOR THE SUPPORT I DON’T GET FROM ANYWHERE ELSE. YOU GUYS KEEP ME GOING AND CHECKING FOR COMMENTS/FAVES/WATCHES IS A REAL JOY TO ME. I APPRECIATE IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY COLD HEART <3

AND EVEN YOU, SILENT WATCHER THAT NEVER COMMENTS OR FAVE OR ANYTHING, I THANK YOU TOO!

AND PLEASE, THE LAST THING, I PROMISE I WON’T BORE YOU GUYS ANYMORE, DON’T BE AFRAID TO TALK TO ME, K? I LOVE MEETING NEW PEOPLE, SO HIT ME UP WHEREVER!(AND IF I DON’T REPLY, IT’S BECAUSE I AM BUSY OR I GOT STUCK INTO SOMETHING AND IF I COME BACK AFTER I LOT OF TIME I FEEL LIKE IT’S WEIRD TO REPLY! ALSO I AM SOCIALLY AWKWARD, I PROBABLY WON’T START THE CONVERSATION UNLESS I TALKED TO YOU FOR A FEW TIMES AND KNOW I WON’T BORE YOU WITH MY SHIT <3