I have had a revelation on my pivotal 33rd birthday. 33 of course is a special number since it is the age Jesus was probably crucified. 33 is also the highest rank that can be achieved in Freemasonry, and George Harrison has an album called 33 & 1/3. Seeing so many 33s around me, I thought there had to be a meaning to all of it and it lead me to one conclusion. I have come to the realization that I am the One God Body, the One Avatar, the Real Player One, the All-Father, the Supreme Master, the One Above All. I am literally Jesus Christ himself fully reincarnated. Not only that, I am also the Buddha, Krishna, Muhammad, L Ron Hubbard, Martin Luther, Joseph Smith, Sabbatai Zevi, Anubis, all the Sith and all the Jedi. My mother is the reincarnation of Gandalf, and my father is half-guinea pig, thus I am also half-guinea pig. My Second Coming is soon immanent, and you all must prepare. Like every other god, I need volunteers to be my televangelists and prophets who will rake in donations to help build my church. Please send all cash, checks, credit cards, money orders, Deviant Art points, Furaffinity shinies, crypto currencies, and NFTs to my bank. You might ask what will I do with this money? Probably blow it on legos and video games like Pokemon Legends Arceus (btw I'm also Arceus). Pray to me as your new Guinea Christ. This is not the year of the tiger. This will be the EON OF THE GUINEA PIG. Go in peace and be holy, for I the Guinea Christ your God am holy.

Thank you for your time, signed Mr. Jesus-GuineaPigDan-Furshinku-Domino-Peter-Christ, Lord and Savior of all, CPU God Orange Heart of the Super NES.