Where are you staying?
At the Caribe Royale.

When will you arrive?
Late Wednesday afternoon. I’m aiming for 17:00.

How long will you stay?
Until noon Monday.

How will you travel to/from the convention?
By steer—er, by Steer. Two days getting there, three going back.

Who are you rooming with?
Romeo Rabbit and Campion.

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Doesn’t look like I’ll have much opportunity to hang out, but I won’t mind if I’m wrong.

Where will you be most of the time during the convention?
Either bed or panels. Speaking of which . . .

Which panels and events do you plan to attend?
These. Subject to change, of course.

Are you doing anything in keeping with the convention’s theme?
Half of the material in Furry Language will be related to this year’s theme. I hope to buoy a bunch of spirits too.

Will you suit up? If so, does your character talk?
Not suiting, but I may do some toonbounding in Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole kits cobbled together from thriftstore finds.

Will you perform?
Only in a vocal capacity.

Will you go to parties?
Probably nothing more intense than the dessert social.

Night owl or early bird?
Early bird.

Do you drink?
No.

Do you smoke?
No.

What/where will you eat?
Like at previous cons, I plan to bring donuts, soda, and Tang. This time I’m trying out some shelf-stable single-serve meals instead of sandwiches. There are several tempting options in and near the resort, but I’m hesitant to go offsite and risk losing a plum parking spot.

Can I come with you for food, fun, etc.?
Well, I still don’t know the place that well, so if you don’t mind being led astray or nibblin’ Cheez-Its . . .

What is the best way to contact you?
Generally, by note here or (if I follow you) by Twitter DM. A few people have my email or my cell number for voice or text.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
If a wave or a “Hi, CC” doesn’t do the trick, a Pythonesque silly walk usually will. As a last resort, flash some sideknuckle.

What do you look like?
Somewhat doughy (~230 lb) with salt-and-pepper hair and a “cookie duster.” A yellow Boatmen’s Bank Super Set ballcap will be either on my head or attached to a front right belt loop.

How tall are you?
6’2” (188 cm).

How old are you?
49.

What is your gender?
Note again the cookie duster. Also, the wiring matches the plumbing.

Are you taken? Are you looking for a mate?
Currently I operate under the delusion that I am somebody’s husband, but I don’t know whose and I’ve run out of guesses and I ain’t got amnesia. If by some improbable happenstance you know her—or even more miraculously, are her . . .

Can I talk to you?
Of course. I’m not usually the sort to initiate contact, but please don’t let that stop you.

Can I touch you?
Only if you’ve had all your shots. (And to think this used to be a joke.)

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hugs are okay from folks I “know”; three-second rule, please. Snuggles and cuddles I’m gonna have to closely reserve.

Can I dance with you?
Only if Mrs. Critterden approves.

Can I visit your room?
Again, if I “know” you. Just gimme a heads-up, ’kay? And I promise to do the same if I want to visit your room.

Can I buy you drinks?
Nothing stronger than a sarsaparilla, if’n ya don’t mind.

Can I give you stuff?
As long as I don’t have to take medicine for it.

Can I stalk you?
Ask in advance and I’ll think about it.

Can I take your picture?
Who, me? Well, I don’t expect to do anything particularly photogenic, but hey, it’s your battery.

What (else) should I not do around you?
As long as you’re within the convention’s code of conduct, I doubt that I’ll object. I knew the job was dangerous when I took it.

Are you nice?
I’ll go ahead and say no here and strive to prove otherwise there.

Are you cliquey?
I’ll go ahead and say no here and strive to pr—er, um, just no.

Do you have art in the art show?
No.

Do you have an item in the charity auction?
No.

Do you have an artist table?
No.

Do you do free art?
No.

Do you do trades?
No.

Do you do badges?
No.

Do you do commissions?
No.

Do you have a sketchbook?
No.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
Maybe, once I actually, y’know, have a sketchbook.

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
I refer the honourable reader to the reply I gave some moments ago.

How many conventions have you attended?
This will be my seventeenth in-person convention overall, and the first of a planned two this year.

Might I find you at other upcoming conventions?
Later this year I’ll be at Midwest FurFest. In 2022 I plan to attend MFF, Anthrocon, and Fur Squared.

What are your goals for the convention this year?
To meet in person even more of the awesome people I’ve known up to now only as collections of dots on a screen and vibrations in headphones. To continue to test social skills, establish and strengthen connections, and chip away further at the ol’ shell. To put on a smooth, fun, entertaining game and identify areas to improve for next time. To get at least a hundred people interested in clicking some links. To cause some in attendance to laugh, smile, or just scratch their heads. To go home reasonably healthy, richer in inspiration and motivation, and inclined to come back for more.