So. Been a while. Cant say you all have missed much. But stuff has been going on.

one note: I have spent a good 150$ on fiver to get my resume and cover letter and linked in tuned to go back into the IT career i haven't been in actively since 1997. I got a degree in networking. I haven;t stopped being active in IT ever. EVER. but its all hobby. so not use-able on resumes IMHO, but they helped tune my current skills to back to that field, and I'm aiming for federal government entry level if cards play out right. I got skill, but not "on paper in a job" skill, sadly. but I am confidant I will get in one way or the other. I'm done turning wrenches for a career and keep for a side job and hobby. I'm far from a one trick pony.

Art wise, not drawn a damned thing in over a m month. Not sure what will change until I can physically meet up with :iconSavanitty18: and their mate :iconPartlyclowder: for motivation and artistic mojo from consistently. An hour drive tops, but the pandemic has handicapped that from happening. yet. I've had 1 of 2 vaccination shots done as of Saturday March 27th. 2nd is mid April sometime. 

I'm still posting recent and old art i have obtained, glad some like the old relics.  

I am depressed I guess, rather want to admit it or not. I'm low on funds. no job. pandemic handicapping easy social interaction with friends and to escape to camp or shoot.  or Spend much time with my BF...

Which brings another stress. He is not in a good place. He has a bad job making him high strung with no escape. His roommate of 13 years is as fuckvigh shitty human being and a toxic mess, like :iconDrakkon: was for me and his mate in VA. Same stats and all.  I'm sorry more than one of them exist.  Been with this person for 13 years and is about to shoot their own head off. Been there almost succeeded to do that Not worth it. So things are grim right now for him, and its affecting me. How?

He may move away back to FL where family is and costs of living are more sane. Northern VA isnt exactly cheap. So, yeah. Another reason why I'm drinking more and looking  for more events to focus on and keep sane. Best friends are doing excellent on what they can do, but lets be honest they aren't psychologists or miracle workers. I'm not their child. But this means... relationship is over when that happens. Friendship no. but that would render relationship[ dead. I'm not moving, he needs to move kind of scenario if he chooses to go that route. I wont be mad if that's what he does. Got to survive and fend yourself priority 1 in my books. 

While my moods are up and down,. my drinking levels has increased. i have not become manic like I used to be for many years. My tolerances are returning. My health is at its prime as it was as a teen, except hearth endurance. What I really need to step up on this month and onward as weather is "not winter weather" anymore. I can do that and I will. 

The meds I have been prescribed have worked well for almost 2 years. but a new problem. who gave me the prescriptions hasn't been back to my main docs office in a year. and may retire. so. what to do? i need those meds. my main doc of,..... uh.. 25 years said to use the medicaid insurance i got (free) and find a psychiatrist. his son uses it and has had great luck in it. so, what I need to suck up my pride on and do as I need that help. to maintain my prime as best I can at 43+ years of age.  

I also need your help. to chat with. call, voice chat with. shoot the shit with. reconnect. all of it. I beg of you all. new or old friends. Goes a long way and a decent distraction of whats going on.

I ain't going no where. But I'm in a tight spot. Been through plenty worse, but nobody wants to be in this spot. 

Hope for you all life has been fair to you. We are going to get through this. period. Do not think otherwise.

Be well.