Starting this new year off with Two Truths and a Lie.

I'm gay.
I don't want to be.
I've never told anyone.

Yet still, I have doubts and concerns that I may be more, or something else. I feel super Asexual, the actual act of two or more individuals graphically doing things, does nothing for me, it's quite a turn off for me.

Then there is my Online/Real Life conundrum. In real life, I am super physically attracted to women: their shape, their glamour, their beauty. I fall head over heels for their charm and personality. Yet sexually, there are no feelings for me. I don't understand that!

HOWEVER, in the past couple years I have noticed that, oh yeah, a real-life handsome dude actually catches my attention. He is attractive, I feel attracted to him.

Maybe the fandom has something to do with that. For sure though, Muscled guys, ABS, Pecs, Biceps, tight shirts and nicely shaped bellies/guts on MEN do things to me. I feel stirrings, it makes feelings, it causes giddy foolishness inside, it is a turn on. In Real Life and Online.

yet still, THERE'S MORE! Adult Content is completely uninteresting to me, I have no desire to be publicly a part of it. Even in my real life, I have no idea how I would feel presented in these situations. My whole life I've averted giving in to any kinds of sexual attractions.

For those of you who "knew all along" yeah great good for you. I didn't. I'm still utterly torn and confused and unhappy. I do not want to be this way. I am not proud. I am not happy about how complicated these feelings have become for me.

I'm still the same Orange Shirt wearing human that you may know about. I still like being your nerd, or belly rubber, or chewtoy, or snack, or target of playful predatory bullying. I'm the same, you just know more now.

So best way to sum up that last hour is that I am not 100% straight even though I really wish I was.

Lastly, I am living in a safe, loving environment with humans who love and care about me unconditionally. The important people in my Real life, they all know to some degree or another. Most others do not, because it is none of their damn business.

Okay truth though, if you guys really need to know what I am, it's for sure these: Belly-Sexual Abs-Sexual, Muscle-Sexual, Dragon-Sexual, Werewolf-sexual, Horse-sexual, Gryphon-Sexual, Romance-Sexual, Vore-Sexual, Gift-Sexual, Protective-Sexual, Monster-Sexual, Food-Sexual, and MUCH MORE.

Now that it's all out there, I feel like this is the kind of thing I really didn't need to do and for the next while I'll be unsure if it was the best idea. I am not sure how to address any of this or what to say or how to proceed except one day at a time.