Welp, it’s about that time again. My thoughts on this year. I must say, 2020 is, um, how to say it?

Well, it was very sucky. I’m not just referring to the whole COVID-19 thing, but plenty of stuff that’s been going on this year. You guys remember how that I was working at Target by this time last year? Welllllll, I was actually pretty much let go not too long afterward when I posted that journal. It wasn’t that I was a lousy employee; in fact, they rather like me and wanted me to stay for the foreseeable future. It’s just that, with the 2019 holiday season over, they couldn’t afford me and, in fact, they actually kept me a couple of weeks longer than they should. They at least allow me to stay on that final week on overtime for some overtime pay, which is very nice of them. Of course, no one could’ve predicted COVID-19 breaking out from China back then and spreading out to the rest of the world, which would’ve allowed me to still be staying with them if they saw it coming.

I already mentioned how I was scammed several thousands of dollars, which I’m still angry at myself for it, with me keeping the Steam cards as a reminder of my stupidity. Of course, that wasn’t the only thing that was stressing me out back then. You see, one of my elder sisters, who’s living in Texas by the way, was actually diagnosed with leukemia around February. As such, I’ve been stressing out on hoping that my sister is going to be OK. Not only because plenty of relatives, including my mother and my other elder sister, suffered and even died from cancer, but also because I heard the news that some hospitals were kicking out some patients so that they can take in COVID-19 cases. Even cancer patients weren’t exempt. As such, I was worried that my sister would end up like them, not helped by hearing from one unpleasant fellow who said that people with cancer should die so that ones with COVID-19 may live. Before you ask, she is alright and cancer-free.

Naturally, with all of this going, not helped by the stresses of getting a new job, I was not in the best mood. If any of you guys noticed, I felt moody and snappish, even passive-aggressive due to all of this. As such, I’m afraid that I’ve damaged and perhaps even permanently severed some friendships and relationships online, some lasting for years, because of this. I confess to full responsibility for what has happened, and I regret my actions. Even with the stuff going on with my life, it’s not an excuse for my horrible behavior. If anyone who I have harmed is reading this, know this: I am deeply sorry for what I’ve said and done. I know that I cannot fully take back the words I’ve said since words can pierce through the heart and can hurt for a lifetime, but I thoroughly regret saying them now, and I wish I can undo the hurt I have caused. I hope you can forgive me and that we can resume where we left off.

In any case, time to balance it out. While I did say that this year was pretty sucky, it wasn’t all bad. As I said, I did get a new job, which is at Home Depot, where I’m still doing online fulfillment work for them, much like back at Target and Amazon. It was a shaky start, what with me being a sour autistic guy who at one time has to be physically restrained from hitting myself again for a safety screw up. But it has improved over time, and now I’m one of their best fulfillment employees. In fact, and I say this with humbleness since this is the first time that I’m saying much of this with even some friends not knowing these details: I was given a raise from $12 an hour to $15 an hour, I was given an award for being one of the best pickers, and for this month I was even given employee of the month, which I was never rewarded with before now. In fact, I’m still uncomfortable with being granted employee of the month since the only thing I see going for me is being a hard worker. I’m not really charismatic with me having a hard time getting people to listen to me or assist me, I can be pretty awkward in a conversation, and I can be short-temper, as some of you guys know. I know I’m being silly, but it’s hard for me to accept praises when all I can see are the flaws.

Another good thing that has happened is that I’ve finally accepted writing commissions and, while it was pretty rough at times, I believe that I did a decent job for the first time. Of course, I’m not opening now since I still wish to finish up The Pokémon Prometheus 2. Yes, I know that it’s not done and, while I said that it’ll likely be doubled the first one’s length, now I’m saying that it’ll be tripled. I do hope to get it done and posted by the halfway point next year. There are some parts I’m not happy about it, which I do hope to fix when I begin to type it down, not to mention the slow-buildup section, which is going longer than even I expected. The only reason I’m still adding it is that there’ll be payoffs in The Pokémon Prometheus 3, and yes, I’m thinking of doing a third one, which will be the final part of that saga, outside of some side-stories I’m thinking of.

And that’s pretty much it. Now then, should we hope for a better 2021? I’m still asking that question myself since, while 2020 is a pretty terrible year for everyone, I can’t help but feel that this is nothing more than a prelude. That there will be an even worst time in the coming year and perhaps this decade, with global chaos and warfare not seen since WWII. And this will make everyone wish for this year to return, even with all of the stuff that happened. I only hope that I’m wrong and that we’ll be seeing better days, but I’m afraid.

In any case, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hanukkah, and many others that are too long to post.