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Negative Feeling Protocol by crayonsfordinner

CONTENT WARNING: SUBJECTIVE OPINION

We all have our days: negative feelings happen for everyone. This protocol aims to deal with such feelings. My adapted strategy is not correct for all contexts; please criticize my work. You are not alone in this struggle. Any struggle can be considered a journey of learning:

(1) Talk.

Create positive relationships. Make regular contact with family and friends. Trust is gained in drops and lost in buckets. If you have no other alternative against conversing online, stay safe among strangers. Friends should manifest compassion, empathy, and sympathy.

(2) Do something.

Act with deliberation and determination for your goals. Do something that gives you psychic energy. Do something that motivates, stimulates, and satisfies you. Divert energy to a productive activity rather than mulling over past mistakes or lost opportunities. Glance at the past, not dwell on it. Find the things that went right when looking back. Planning is important, however avoid brooding over mishaps. Let the mistakes of yesterday precede, entail, and follow the fortune of today. Cherish the peace of the present rather than the past. [cf. utilitarianism]. The WORST thing to do when depressed is to do nothing. Strive to thrive comrade: be compassionate to yourself and others, embrace flexibility, and trust that you are not alone.

A non-exhaustive list of rabbit holes and red flags follows.

Alcohol and drugs are not motivators.

Alcohol is a gateway, depressant drug for heinous hedonism, CVI, and worse. Alcohol relaxes inhibitions, rendering the mind more impressionable to burning the wallet for pills at certain parties. And yes, vaping is not safe for you and others. Spreading chemicals as nicotine, formaldehyde, and arsenic with every breath shortens lives and contaminates lungs. And no, you are not a dragon. We weren't made to inhale fumes. Ultimately, the choice is yours. Drink moderately. Buzzed driving is drunk driving.

Adultery is not a motivator.

Observing, writing, and disseminating porn are some of the first steps to sickening, sordid relationships. We know what happens on discord. Balance sensuality with spirituality: defer sensual, lower pleasures for the higher, spiritual pleasures of education. We would rather you watch pornography than rape someone. You don't need to hop on the bandwagon for a cheap thrill. The singular joys come from spiritual friendships.

Generally, pornography is an index of sell-out loneliness: natural, sensual love is perverted and magnified due to the lack of spiritual love. We want you to be habitually happy more than horny. It's a phase; get over it before you lose respect for self and others. The youthful vigor lasts until age 35.

A non-exhaustive list of motivational activities follows.

Avoid unhelpful thinking styles.

All or nothing thinking [black and white thinking]:
"If I'm not perfect I have failed."
"Either I do it right or not at all."
Over-generalizing: Seeing a pattern based on a single event, or being overly broad in drawn conclusions
"Everything is always rubbish."
"Nothing good ever happens."
Mental filter: Only paying attention to certain types of evidence
e.g. noticing failures but neglecting successes
Disqualifying the positive: Discounting the good things that have happened or that you have done for some reason or another
"That doesn't count."
Jumping to conclusions: mind reading and fortune telling
Magnification (catastrophising) & minimization: blowing issues out of proportion or inappropriately shrinking things for devaluation
Emotional reasoning: assuming that because of a certain feeling, thoughts are true
"I feel embarrassed so I must be an idiot."
Using critical words as 'should', 'must', or 'ought', can produce unnecessary feelings of guilt or failure. If 'shoulds' are applied to others the result is often frustration.
Labelling: assigning labels to self or others
"I'm a loser."
"I'm completely useless."
"They're such idiots."
Personalization: blaming self or taking responsibility for something not completely your fault; conversely, blaming others for something that was your fault
"This is my fault."
Harmful core beliefs:
Helpless:
"I am weak." "I am a loser." "I am trapped."
Unlovable:
"I am unlovable." "I will end up alone." "No one likes me."
Worthless:
"I am bad." "I don't deserve to live." "I am worthless."
External Danger:
"The world is dangerous." "People can't ever be trusted." "Nothing ever goes right."
Consequences of harmful core beliefs include difficulty trusting others, feelings of inadequacy in relationships, excessive jealousy, overly confrontational or aggressive, putting others' needs above self needs, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, difficulty handling stress, and low self-esteem.

Build self-esteem.

Nathaniel Branden defines self-esteem as "The disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness."
People with healthy or authentic self-esteem trust their being to be life affirming, constructive, responsible, and trustworthy. They have tolerance and respect for others, accept responsibility for their actions, have integrity, take pride in accomplishments, are self-motivated, willing to take risks, capable of handling criticism, loving and lovable, seek the challenge and stimulation of worthwhile and demanding goals, and take command of their lives. Individuals with low self-esteem try to prove themselves or impress others, tending to exploit others. They can act with arrogance and contempt. Generally, they lack confidence in themselves and doubt their worth and acceptability. Thus they are reluctant to take risks or expose themselves to failure. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they often blame others for their shortcomings.
Crises of self-esteem comprise the human experience. Be patient with yourself in development.
Free yourself from should've, would've, could've: live your life on the basis of what is possible for you and what feels right to you. Find what you want and what you're good at, value those, and take actions designed to fulfill your potential.
Respect your needs: recognize and take care of your needs first. Identify what fulfills you — not just immediate gratifications.
Set achievable goals: work stepwise to develop potential.
Talk to yourself positively: when you notice that you are doubting or judging yourself, replace such thoughts with self accepting thoughts, balanced self-assessment and self-supportive direction.
Test your reality: separate emotional reactions from the reality.
Experience success: put yourself in a situation wherein the probability of success is high. Find projects that stretch abilities, not overwhelm them.
Take chances: new experiences are learning ones. Expect mistakes.
Solve problems: face them and cope with them. Fleeing from them threatens self-confidence.
Make decisions: trust yourself to deal with the consequences. Assertion of self enhances identity, learning, and self-confidence.
Develop skills: know what you can and cannot do. Assess the skills you need; learn and practice those.
Emphasize strengths: accept limitations and live comfortably with them.
Rely on self-opinions: entertain feedback from others, however do not rely on their opinions

Make healthy boundaries.

Someone with healthy boundaries can say no to others, but they are also comfortable opening up to intimacy.
Know your limits:
Be as specific as possible.
Know your values:
Values often determine limits.
Listen to your emotions:
Understand what your feelings come from.
Have self-respect:
Are you showing the same amount of respect to yourself as others? Avoid always giving in to others.
Have respect for others:
Avoid self-serving at the expense of others. Interactions are not about winning or exploitation.
Be assertive:
Don't be shy when setting boundaries. Say no respectfully but without ambiguity. Make a compromise while respecting your boundaries.
Consider the long view:
Sometimes more giving or taking will happen. However avoid becoming a giver or taker.

Break bad habits; fight fears.

Fleeing from a covert compulsion can become an overt obsession. Tackle the addiction directly to stop the cycle.

Master mindfulness.

Creating mindfulness skills can help mind and body awareness in the present. Mindful meditation can help increase self-compassion, mindfulness can help decrease mind chatter and produce a sense of well-being, and mindfulness has a positive effect on the nervous system. These skills help you deal with negative thinking and unpleasant body sensations.
Focus on the breath: breathe deeply and slowly; close your eyes and take in the present environment. Pulse regulation can help collect thoughts. Anxiety is of the future. Depression the past. Peace the present. Appreciate the present such that your train follows through to the goal. To go forward, periodically take a station stop.

Bathe.

While sulfur riddles your hair, your teeth deserve more care. Brush them well lest you suffer heart damage. Hence health starts from the mouth. Cleaning yourself on the outside can serve as a symbol for internal ablution. Self-reflect on your soul. When things get really bad for me, I find that after a good exercise a warm, meditative bath helps me find peace in the present so that I can fight for social justice.

Broaden and deepen social horizons.

Friendship is magic indeed. What have they done for you? You for them? Any exploitation or manipulation? Social horizons should be expanded in real life as computers make evil so easy. Don't be evil. Please.

Be kind.

Crudeness reflects internalized pain: only love can conquer hate.

Celebrate victory; learn from defeat.

Celebration of achievements alters physiology and stimulates endorphin release. Building both confidence and character incentivize effort. Abolish regrets to glean the hopes from history.

Control worry.

Differentiate real problem worries from hypothetical ones: ask yourself "Is this a problem I can do something about?" If no, let the worry go and focus on important matters. If yes, work out what you could do and list options. Then ask yourself "Can I do anything right now?" If no, plan what you could do and when you will do it. Then let the worry go and let the present flow. If yes, do it now.

Focus on the facts. Do not believe everything you think. Question stimuli.

At stressful times, emotions and opinions fuel each other to create a vicious cycle. Reacting to opinions is pointless and upsetting. Meanings and opinions attached to facts can cause distress. Thoughts are not facts. Epictetus said "Men are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them."

Consider the bigger picture.

Anais Nin said "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." Distress entails emotional involvement to a certain situation. Step back from what is happening to see more clearly: take a helicopter view.

Multitask with music.

Sometimes you got to do what nobody wants to do. Classical music can be easily found to soothe frustration and inspire you to keep going. Sometimes we give up on the hard things during critical moments, but losing a little on your test inspires you to try your best. Accept a little loss in life to gain so much more.

Create!

Write, weave, draw, dance, compose, code, cook, speak, sing, fold, & c. Exercise creativity in whatever you do to become far from blue.

Find and use strengths.

Ascertain your strengths to overcome weaknesses. I define character with respect to strengths, not weaknesses. Find the good in others to cultivate a happy soul. You are stronger than you think. What are you good at?

Enjoy the outdoors.

Nature works wonders. Expose your skin to sunlight. Nature walks uplift mood more so than city strolls due to the psychological effect of flora and fauna. Follow social distancing protocols during these taxing times.

Organize a clear, pleasant, and stimulating environment.

Cleaning residence imparts an aura of freedom, order, and control. A studio should be spatially efficient and aesthetically minimal to motivate work.

Set routine.

Temporal organization of activity helps you continue doing what you love. Good routine maintains a balance of mental and physical activity.

Avoid eating lunch at your desk.

We care about you.

Read.

Ask a wise person for good, educational reading material. Choose reputable sources for research.

Maintain sleep hygiene.

Rise with the sun and fall with the moon.
Avoid going to bed if not sleepy. If not asleep after 20 minutes, find something relaxing to do. The bedroom is not the place to go when bored. Begin rituals that relax you before bed. Rise at the same time every morning. On a regular basis, get a full night's sleep. Avoid naps if possible: keep them less than an hour and never take a nap after 15:00. Maintain a regular schedule. Avoid reading, writing, eating, watching TV, talking on the phone, or playing with cards in bed. Avoid caffeine after lunch. Within six hours of bedtime, no alcohol. Before bedtime, no nicotine. Avoid going to bed hungry or really full. Avoid tough exercise within six hours of bedtime; exercise should be done earlier in the day. Use sleeping pills cautiously: sleeping pills are usually prescribed for no more than 3 weeks. Never drink alcohol while taking sleeping pills. Deal with sources of worry: find a time during the day to purge them. The bed is a place to rest, not a place to worry. Make your bedroom quiet, dark, and slightly cool. Think cave. Get at least eight hours to fuel your powers. Try going to bed around 22:00. Deferring sleep damages the immune system and accelerates ageing.

Drink water.

Don't give tap water to children, as it contains fluoride inhibiting the brain. Recycle plastic bottles: show some sympathy for aquatic life. Most of your body is water, the energy of a refreshing glass cannot be underestimated. Drinking water helps regulate body temperature [cf. homeostasis], lubricate & cushion joints, protect spine and other tissues, eliminate waste through urine, sweat, and bowel movements. Water also helps the body's largest organ — the skin. A clear glass creates a clear complexion.

Diet.

Eat regularly and eat breakfast. You are what you eat, not a sack of meat. Omega 3 fatty acids, folate, folic acid, vitamin D, and vitamin B12 affect brain health.
Reduce sodium intake: only 2000 mg is needed daily. Cutting back helps avoid high blood pressure. High blood pressure increases susceptibility to heart disease and stroke. Reduce fat and simple carbohydrates [sugars]. Weigh yourself daily. Obesity increases risk to heart disease. High blood pressure is more common in obese adults. Obesity is associated with elevated triglycerides [blood fat] and decreased HDL [good cholesterol]. Call your healthcare provider if more than 3 to 5 pounds is gained over a week. Rapid weight gain may indicate water retention and a potential health problem.

Go screen free.

The blue light emanating from your screen suppresses melatonin biosynthesis. Don't damage your brain. It's the most powerful tool you have. Your sleep schedule keeps your brain active.

Do your work well. You are responsible for what you love.

Avoid procrastination. Breaks are necessary. Avoid sitting for more than an hour on end. Your teachers and/or caregivers are paid to care about your opinion. For example, I express self to help self and others for good karma. The universe returns favors.

You are not your performance.

You can never be great; your ACTIONS can be CONSIDERED as such. Thus criticism is more valuable than flattery. Don't let pride get to your head lest you wind up weary and dead. Fans are two-faced. One moment they look for the good in you and the other they mock trivialities to get a rise and reaction.

Think BIG; think critically and creatively; think outside the box.

Hardships harden character. Regardless of how small you think you are, the bigger you dream, the bigger you seem. Imagine your best possible self to improve optimism and motivation for change. Write to SAVE your invaluable ideas. Somebody will care. However, thinking too much can wax pernicious. Analyze your thought process via self-reflection; thence life will become easier. Harmonize action with deliberation to improve your problem-solving level. If thoughts and feelings become too much, venting might help. Self-criticism can undermine motivation; self-reflection suggests options to grow. Adopt a growth mindset over a fixed mindset to build neuron connections as you learn. Thus I stress education as the crucial factor of humanity. The trick to overcoming mistakes and setbacks is to find opportunities for growth. You are smart, resilient, and tenacious enough to challenge yourself. You can never fail; you can only find another way that does not work. [cf. neuroplasticity]

Don't become a broken record. Escape the cycle of despair to wield the power to repair. Ask for help. Put forth effort. Try a different strategy. Your determination powers your control and progress. You are stronger than you think; ad infinitum comrade. No failure is your final destination. Keep your exquisite journey growing and flowing and billowing. Cultivate mind to become one of a kind. Challenges are an opportunity to explore your identity. Though you may not understand now, you can rise later. First seek to understand, then to be understood. The insight and intuition of another guides learning: if you truly love people, you will learn and teach like no other. The key to happiness has always been in your control. Open that door.

Here is a physical approach to solve virtually any problem not only in your math class, but also in the class of life:

<1> Restate problem(s).
<2> Draw, graph, and/or write about the issue(s).
<3> Identify knowns and unknowns.
<4> Harmonize useful principles and relationships.
<5> Make plans.
<6> Execute plans. In physics, solve for the unknown. In other contexts, those who tread unknown territory set the precedents. They have thought, planned, and acted first. Frankly, they live a life which we aspire to everyday. To serve as a good role model is quite satisfying. {Not to mention humbling.}
<7> Evaluate the result(s) graphically, numerically, and algebraically.
<8> Check the final answer(s). Plug and chug. Substitute and restitute. Tweak your beak. For example, consider units, orders of magnitude, and limits.

(3) Exercise.

Bodies in motion tend to stay in motion. The first activity you do when you wake up should not be your phone.

(4) If emergency is detected, get help.

Warning signs include anxiety, nervousness, demotivation, feeling slowed down or speeded up, compulsive behaviors, and feelings of discouragement and hopelessness. Professional help is indispensable. My advice is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you feel down due to relationship drama, stigma, and/or rejection, think about those who truly love you: no matter who you are or what you have done, you will always be loved because no snowflake has the same pattern. No fire flickers the same way. Tomorrow shall be yours to paint.

If you remind yourself before bed that tomorrow will be the best day of your life, you subconsciously sign a self-fulfilling prophecy that will make tomorrow amazing. For every hardship that comes your way, you can cherish more incentives to improve your day. The simple act of rehearsing "I can do better next time" will summon latent force. Let a positive attitude and mindset be the catalyst to the chain reaction of your hidden power.

We will always believe in you.
We are cheering for you.
We love you.
We wish you to shine in your own way.
You can do incredible things with your dreams.
You are beautiful; respect yourself and others.
Let the road rise to your feet and the wind billow behind your back. Your strengths can be cultivated to make up for what you lack.
Keep moving forward; make us proud.
Prevail over negative thoughts and feelings: the show must go on.
Keep calm and carry on.
Try your best.
Keep a steady pace; you don't need to be first place.
Chase your dreams and goals comrade:

Dock your ship of dreams to the shores of tomorrow. Don't regret what you have lost; appreciate what you have. The future is a constellation of stars waiting for your prediction and effort; don't let the past poison your prospective opportunities. The terrors of life elucidate the treasures by your feet. You don't have to make believe; you can make it. Love yourself and others more than your best caretaker has loved you.

Adieu. Mama bird gotchu.

Negative Feeling Protocol

crayonsfordinner

21 May 2020 at 11:33:26 MDT

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