In less than three days (Fifteenth of October) I will be turning Eighteen years old.
I don't expect that day to be extremely exciting, as it will probably be just like any other ordinary day. Growing up is a part of life. Being afraid of that is useless. I should be grateful to have the privilege of growing up in the first place.
It's funny how I'll be considered an "adult" by the law. Although funnily enough, I don't feel like I'll emotionally fit into the category of what would be considered adult. I still feel like a child in some way. I just feel like my life will soon take a full 180 degree turn, but my brain will still be a million miles back.
Thankfully in Australia, young adults aren't expected to immediately leave their homes as soon as they turn Eighteen, and they usually take a few years to figure themselves out before setting off into the world. So I have time to prepare myself for the adult life until I'm ready. But I know that "adulting" will be really hard. Not to be dramatic, but I've seen what it can do to people. I've especially seen it happen to members of my family.
Here's an example. My father is in his late Forties, and he is a really hard worker. He works so hard, that even at home he makes constant phone calls and presentations for the company he works for. It's as if even at home, his mind is still stuck in the office.
And I'm not kidding when I say that he's completely forgotten how to enjoy anything since he's so absorbed into his career. Even when we're on vacation, he's still busy working on his computer, and sending emails to his workplace. He also gets frustrated very easily, and sometimes has a tendency to fly off the handle when we even mention the idea of him taking a break.
I know full well that I too will eventually be an older man, working a job to make a living for myself, just so I can still have food and a roof over my head. That's fine. I just don't want to end up like my father. I don't want to forget how to enjoy things, and I don't want to be so absorbed into my work that I'll be tired, grumpy, and overworked all the time. That's not what I want for my life at all.
When I'm older, I don't want anything extreme. I'm not asking for much. I don't want my life to be important, I just want it to have meaning. So that when I do eventually take my last breath, I do so without any overbearing regrets. That's all I ask.
I'm well aware that many people will find this nihilistic, or angsty, and perhaps even dramatic. But when you realize that a big change is happening in your life, you start to contemplate your future a lot. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
So that's pretty much all I have to day. If anything else happens, I will update.