I dunno what the hell happened. I had goals for myself. I wanted to do more art, write more, and just be involved with the community. But it all fell to pieces.
I feel consumed by a shadow. I don't know what kind of shadow it is. A shadow of my former self? A shadow of who I want to be but knowing I'm failing?
You know that awful tingle when your leg or arm falls asleep and you're just in agony for a few minutes? I feel like that in my soul but for years. I want to scream and I want to cry but I can't. I cant even muster up the energy for that.
I'm running out of things to look forward to. Those tiny distractions that make me forget are losing their appeal now.
What do I do anymore? I'm in numbing agony and I want it to stop.