Hello, all!

On June 10th last year, I started uploading most of my old artwork on my Tremaine account, and I finished around August 24th. When I stared, I remember feeling initially apprehensive, and everyone has shown me absolutely nothing but love and support. I want you all to know I haven't forgotten, and still think about it every day. Thank you! <3

While it's true that I had planned on getting a lot more artwork done since I finished uploading my old art, I have a good reason. I've been working hard on fixing a lot of things that have made me very unhappy my entire life, things that have drained my joy and time away from me. I am most creative when I am very happy; I feel I'm making much more progress toward that happiness. My hope is that with all this work I've been doing on myself, when I bring back my joy, it will bring back my creativity!

Since my November status update, I've been doing a great deal of work on myself. While work itself hasn't changed, I definitely have. I no longer let things under my skin. I got tired of handing over the reins to people who don't care; instead, I learned to just focus on being awesome at my job. Moreover, I've come to understand I let a LOT of things under my skin. Letting myself get angry or stress wasn't only NOT helping, but it was actually making things worse.

The other part is that I've had an incredibly hard time "letting go". If something made me angry or upset, I'd hold onto it for way too long and sort of obsessively think about it. Not just work, but darned near everything. I'd hold onto things that made me sad, that made me fearful, that made me angry, and stuff that shamed me. When I realized I was just giving over my mind and my feelings to people and things that not only didn't actually care, but probably had no idea that I felt this way, it was a shock to me. I was just wasting my life on this, and it's one of those silly things I realized I'd been doing my whole life.

Another bit that was sort of mind-blowing for me. I always had trouble with procrastination, and it's long been one of the things I constantly beat myself up about. I read an incredibly neat article about procrastination. Procrastination isn't about lack of self-control or being lazy. It's about an inability to manage negative emotions we've built up around a task. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html

I...wasn't even aware I had done so, but it didn't take me long to realize I had built up a LOT of intensely negative emotions around many things. I honestly wasn't aware they existed! But now that I'm working through figuring out what they are and acknowledging them, I've actually been finding a greater peace and joy than I've ever known.

So, long story short, I've been making absolutely HUMONGOUS strides at managing my own mental health!

What does this mean for my art? I will own the truth that I've been procrastinating. Having owned that, I've also been dealing with all he negativity I've built up in myself. It's...refreshingly easier to want to start drawing, even if it's not ideal. I'm going to keep working on myself.

And most of all, thank you for being here and for supporting me.

I opened a Patreon as a tip jar, for now, too! https://www.patreon.com/ArrJaySketch