Future Deficit Disorder by Tankaa

There's no future for me, it seems. No work, a rapidly depleting unemployment stipend, a dying world, family power struggles, and a general inability to do much of anything. Career fairs have been pointless wastes of time, hours I'll never get back, full of crowds and noise. I can barely get the required electronic applications out. Can't draw, can't write, can't pattern, can't build models, the drive is gone. Sleep is dreamless and fitful.

I can't even flee into Fantasyland or roleplay. What is there for Tankaa and Ori? The far side of the airlock? Joybooth abuse? It's why the RP has dried up, I just can't envision anything besides sitting and waiting for the end. Worse still, I watch other people's submissions pile up and resent them, even if they're having a rough time of things too. At least they can still create and dream. I was a worthless hack at best, with crappy writing and derivative art. Now there's no art at all.

Yes, I'll see about switching to something stronger and get more help. Maybe I'll be able to get things done if I have enough Will To Live Substitute™ in my body.

So much for the minimal drama but it just feels like I can't manage anymore...

Future Deficit Disorder

Tankaa

7 February 2019 at 17:33:47 MST

Journal Information

Views:
48
Comments:
2
Favorites:
0
Rating:
General

Tags Modify

Edit Tags


Comments

  • Link

    Sorry you're not having much in good days lately

    I don't have much of any personal advice to offer, since I've never been clinically depressed. I have additional friends that are going through the same struggles, even with as many ups as there are downs. They've showed me some articles of ideas of supplements to take with their medications, like tumeric and a few other natural herbs, that provides a little boost. But not everything is guaranteed, and I'm surely no expert.

    I do, however, know personally about having been out of work for so long, to which I had to resort to making my own business, currently very slow progress and low profits. But it has been improving. I could imagine perhaps the same could work for you, like how many people would pay for your cosplay work for endless comic cons, G-Fests, and furcons. It's very true that you'll have to put as much money into it as you would get out of it, plus deadline challenges, and MANY stupid customers, but I believe that you can make your own career as soon as you get your spark back.

    I know I tend to be annoyingly optimistic, but I believe in the best for everyone. I really do hope for the best for you!

    • Link

      I’m doing a little better now, at least. It’s just difficult sometimes.