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Still Alive by Sertimus

Hello folks! So uh, I realize I've hit quite a bump in the road with regards to keeping my sites up-to-date. This has, in effect, resulted in me not publishing any artwork for about 4 months. For that I apologize.

Well, I mean you all probably know I do school and work. I've been so busy that I've had little time to dedicate to art, though I still doodle once in a while. But I think this is the same old song you all probably heard before already. I feel like there's some truth to what I've said before, and I'm not intentionally hiding it either. I just don't want to say one thing and oh, it turns out to be some other thing, which also turns to be this other other thing.

Though, now I think I did enough soul-searching to the point where I can explain my situation. So, I think that I may have a waning interest in drawing for myself. Ever since the 2015 Spring semester, my psychological well-being has been affected so much that I have also lost some interest in drawing. And not just drawing either, this also affects my other two hobbies, including developing software and playing video games. Even if I manage to complete my obligations for the day with room for spare time, I feel as if I'm just 'done' and nothing else. I've been self-conditioned to work more and play less, resulting in this imbalance that I have right now.

I notice that I also become fatigued and discouraged more easily. I believe I borrow this from failing my colleagues a good few times, alongside having been under a very stressful course load before. In addition, I notice I've been... Isolating myself from people (including friends) more often. And it may have had a negative effect on me. I mean sure, my behavior has resembled some of an introvert but it can also be reinvigorating to talk to people sometimes. That continues to be evidenced by my relationships with my co-workers.

Now I've been having trouble trying to initiate convos even with my closer friends, most likely due to various anxieties that have built up from my isolation. For instance, I am sometimes afraid to interact with someone because I feel like I may be bothering them too much. I also often have reservations about offering to doing some activities (e.g. art trades, collabs, paintchat, multiplayer games, big projects, etc.) with them because I often feel like I'm asking too much of them. And maybe not only for that reason, but I am also afraid of letting them down. Because I've been a letdown a few times before. Those are some anxieties to name a few.

In short, I have problems which hinder my ability to produce and publish art for you all to see. They're not very easy to solve, especially on my own. The latter part is what I often have been ignoring lately and... Well, you know how that goes with some people, including myself. But this is why I appreciate you all interacting with my content, because it helps me feel less alone in a world that can be cruel and uncertain. Even if I don't respond to your comments, just know that I very likely read it and I appreciate it. :> I appreciate the interactions I have with my friends and family as well.

That being said, I do have some art that may be ready for posting! Don't expect a whole lot though, I may end up putting them altogether in an image dump. It's mostly sketches. I will post them later tomorrow. Also, I would like to give you all the opportunity to suggest things for me to draw! However, this is just for ideas, not just characters unless they are like, not your own character (even moreso if they're part of a registered IP). But the former will be given more consideration. Also keep it SFW pls. I have no guarantees I'll get to them all either, but I will definitely read all of them!

On a lighter note, I did find a solution to my 'multiple sites' problem with posting art. I'm pretty sure a lot of you heard about it already, but it is mentioned at the bottom of this entry if you are interested. In fact, this is the first time I'm trying it out.

Also! Some of you who follow me on Twitter probably know that I have an actual web site now. If not, check it out here. I'll try to update it some more whenever I have the chance.

Thanks for taking the time to read this journal and hope you all are having a nice Holiday season. :>

- Sertimus

Posted using PostyBirb

Still Alive

Sertimus

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    Just wanted to drop some encouragement and say I understand all of how you're feeling about socializing and art on a very deep level, so just know that you aren't alone in feeling this way! I leave messages and comments alone for sometimes days or weeks at a time out of pure anxiety or just social exhaustion. And the anxiety about art in general is totally understandable, it's intimidating to see so many people put out art so often and in such high quality; but just remember that your art is a lot better than you think so yourself since you have to look at it all the time, haha. It's easier said than done to not worry about disappointing people, but I just hope you find yourself feeling better these days.
    This journal also just reminded me that I've been wanting to try out PostyBirb too, because it seems like a really nice tool!