so as i sit here. i think to my self. why is life so fucking hard. and it came to me. LIFE isn't hard. its the people around you that makes shit hard.

Last year i lost my home job and truck. (got the truck back tho) and in processes of losing everything i had ever worked for and sacrificed for. (there was roommate that did equity as much as I, we shared my truck to live in) i was raped. nust just one person i had full on people i trusted gang rapped me after taking all of each of my paychecks... idk i just can let it go. they hurt me and not so much of fuck you. or thank you. for use of my body with out there permission. i mean really....

i regret not going to the hospital, i regret not talking to the police. all i think now its going to happened again to some poor person like me. i keep having nightmares about it. wake up and shit but i cant shed one fucking tear and it makes do fucking angry with my self. something happened to me and all i did was run away. fucking ran away. GAH

why did i run away when i should have stayed and fought.

well what the fuck and i do about it now.