Ever since my last breakup, I've struggled to figure out who I really am. At the time, I had no substance or character. I emulated what was around me and bent to the will or desires of whomever I was with at the time. It lasted through each relationship and re-emerged each time I found someone new. Without that someone to mold myself to, I felt lost and empty. But having it put so plainly in front of me during my last heartbreak, I could ignore it no longer. I decided to become my own person, to not go looking for another partner until I'd found myself. And once I'd found myself, to still not go looking, but let them come to me by simple 'fate' if you will call it that. It's been about a year since I made that decision and I've found out so much new about who I am. I'm proud to be single and truly living for myself, the way I want to, by my own power. I've grown so much as an individual and because of that, have the confidence now that I never had back then. I've decided to make a journal detailing myself to the best of my ability - my interests, my quirks, my desires, and even my dislikes and faults to an extent. Of course I'll never be able to fully encompass who I am on paper, but if you don't know me (or even if you do), this might give you a bit of insight as to who I am.
Things I'm good at:
Though I'm not exceptionally good at any one thing, I do strive to excel at most things I enjoy. In this I include my top interests - fursuiting, videography, video games, and even bowling to an extent.
Things I'm not so good at:
Cooking
Maintenance of any kind (car, house, etc.)
Keeping my ideas to myself
Generosity (Working on this one...)
Hobbies:
Fursuiting
Photography/Videography
Motorcycles
Video Games
Bowling
Basketball (rarely, but still a hobby)
Card Games
Guns & Shooting
Reading (Furry-related books mainly)
Watching Movies
Travel/Vacations
Furry Conventions
Roller Coasters & Theme Parks
Paintball
Surfing (Still learning this one!)
Other things I like:
Romance
Sex
Adventure
Animals
Tigers
The Internet
Tasty Food
Wine/Liquor/Whiskey/Rum/Mixed Drinks
Hookah
Hanging out with friends
Going to the gym (I try to stay motivated as much as possible)
Things I don't like:
Camping (Maybe once a year)
The Club/Drinking/Party/Dancing Scene
Charity work
Running
Drugs/Smoking (hookah is the exception)
Chores that take a substantial amount of time and effort
Babies/Children
Unique traits:
I like to think of myself as an easy-going individual with a very dry sense of humor. I am very sarcastic at times, generally in a very light-hearted sort of way with no ill intent, but it can cut deep when I am upset. I appreciate most the company of someone who can (not only) tolerate this, but grow to enjoy it for what it is.
I have a full back tattoo of tiger stripes representative of my tiger, Vitai, and the spiritual beliefs I hold close to me.
Education and Work:
I am a high school drop-out with a GED. Going into my junior year of high-school (and still now), I neither cared about nor desired to pursue an education deeper than the base knowledge I would need to succeed in life. I got my GED immediately after dropping out and took a course learning how to deal cards for the local poker rooms. Unfortunately, I did not get the job of my dreams immediately and went from job to job for about four years before finally landing a job in my current career field as a poker dealer. I now live my passion and look forward to my job each and every day.
Family:
My immediate family no longer lives in Jacksonville. My sister lives in Tampa, Florida and my parents in St. Petersburg, Florida. I am closest to my mother and not exactly in the best of regards with my father. I very much love my sister, though we don't get to talk or spend time with one another near as often as I would like. I have a niece and a nephew, both of which are still very young. My brother-in-law is by far the most influential person in my life. I only see him or talk to him as much as I do my sister, but he is a fantastic person and definitely a person I look up to more than anyone else.
Religion/Spirituality:
I could talk about religion and spirituality for days on end and still not even scratch the surface of all my beliefs (Believe me, I've tried). I have found several ways to describe "in a nutshell" the way I feel about most things though. For one, I see my tiger, Vitai, in a different sort of way than a lot of furries see their fursona. Vitai is, in the most basic sense, myself -- as I am now, as I was before I was born, and as I am in the future after I die. He is the embodiment of my core and my spirit. He is representative of another culture and world somewhere out there.
I do consider myself a Christian in a way, though I don't blindly follow all or even most of Christian beliefs. I think more open-mindedly about spirituality. As if all of the religions in the world were a beautiful portrait of a sunset. The Christians saw the sun and called it a yellow picture, the jews saw the grass and called it green, the muslims saw the sky and called it blue, while the buddhists saw the clouds and called it white. It's all the same picture, but they are all focused on different aspects. I pull from each religion I encounter and make it my own. I try to build the picture the best I can using all of the resources available to me.
Sexuality:
I see myself as mostly gay in the sense that I love both men and women equally when it comes to sex, but I lean heavily towards men when it comes to a relationship. I am a deeply-rooted furry so I enjoy being very animalistic when it comes to sex, but I always use protection and don't sleep around with just anyone.
What I envision for my future:
For now, I envision a simple, yet rewarding life. I do not and will never make millions of dollars, but I will always enjoy what I do have and can afford. I look forward to owning a nice home, with a beautiful German Shepherd companion, and a couple of cool toys (motorcycles and such). I see myself at several furry conventions per year and a steady plan to travel to different places around the world, visiting different countries and exploring different cultures. I hope to eventually meet someone to share it all with, though I am not looking for someone just to fill the space.
Favorites:
Animal: Tiger
Game: Battlefield 3
Game Platform: Xbox 360
Number: 8, 23, or 32
Movie: The Lion King
Song: Can you feel the love tonight?
Band: Matthew Ebel
Music Genre: Rock, Oldies, Dance
Country: USA
State: Florida
City: Jacksonville
Color: Blue
Dog: German Shepherd
Car: Lamborghini Mercielago
Shampoo: Aussie
Cologne: DKNY
Store: Best Buy
Food: Mexican
Restaurant: Taco Bell (Lol!)
Holiday: Halloween or Christmas
Season: Spring
Accent: Australian
TV Show: House M.D.
Thing to do: Fursuit
Trait of yours: Upbeat attitude
Memory: My 21st birthday trip from my now ex-boyfriend.
Thing about the opposite sex: Gracefulness
Thing about the same sex: Relatability
School Subject: Math
Fruit: Strawberries
Book: Out of Position by Kyell Gold
Actor: Will Smith
Sport: Football or Basketball
Website: Furaffinity
Board Game: Risk
Card Game: Poker
Beer: Guinness
Whiskey: Crown Royal
Liquor/Liqueur: Baileys Irish Cream
Non-Alcoholic Drink: Chocolate Milk
Soda: Mountain Dew
Element: Water and Electricity