I haven't put anything online lately, yet I really want to. I just haven't completed anything new yet and its really frustrating. Also, today was kind of a weird day today. I got distracted and I ended up deleting my YouTube channel, and now I feel bad for doing it. At least I can create a new one and try to have a fresh start with it. I'm thinking about putting up art related stuff for my new channel once I've set it up. I'll be sure to link it.

I need to cheer myself up a little bit. I've been down a bit to long now, and there's not really anything to be down about in my personal life. Well... aside from the fact that my family is talking about moving us to Australia, over 7,748 miles from where I live in the United States. Now that's not a big deal at all sarcasm

I just want to be more at peace with myself for once. I wish I wasn't so anxious, and I wish that my family matters weren't so serious. I'm not even sure I want to move to another country either. I mean, my parents keep saying that it will be a fun experience for me, but they are talking about leaving behind the United States and to live in a foreign continent across the Pacific Ocean for the next few years. I probably may not even be able to come back until after I've turned 20-ish, but its not like there would be anything for me to return to anyway.

Also, how am I supposed to make any friends? I've been lonely and without any proper social life for the past four and a half years now due to being home schooled. I've never had anyone to call a "true friend" for a long time, and sometimes the thought of that makes me cry alone in my room like a child. And sometimes it makes me despise myself because of that.

Anyway, yeah. Here's how my mind always is when I'm alone. Hopefully my next journal wont be so depressing.