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53 Word Stories (Please Help Me Pick) by Volt Siano

For one of our assignments in Creative Writing, our teacher wants us to submit an entry to the 53-Word Story Contest. I made three different samples, and will probably create a few more, but I'm not sure which one to submit (there can only be one submission per person). So, you guys wanna' help me pick? These are the three I have so far, written off of this prompt:

"Write a 53-word story about bringing something in."

(Titles are not included in the word count.)


Deceased Sanity by Voltaire Siano
Spade sifting, earth flying, lungs heaving. A sound is heard – metal striking wood. More sifting. A crowbar is revealed, prying open that which was meant to remain shut. A stench falls on closed nostrils. Dragging. Talking to her husband as though he lived, she lugged him homeward, that life may be normal.
You can tell I was in the Halloween-spoopy mood when I wrote this.

As Nature Intended by Voltaire Siano
A door opens. He takes a deep breath, savoring the forest's morning air. Strolling downhill, he casts off his shirt, a spot of green that soon blends with falling leaves. Water flows around him as he dips in, calloused feet already bear. The man smiles peacefully, gazing about at the silent, untainted mountain.

Ruth by Voltaire Siano
I was a stranger in this world, yet you were a friend. I felt hopeless, yet you gave me hope. I was unskilled, yet you saw my potential. I was penniless, but you made me feel rich. I was weak, yet you taught me strength. I was lost, but you brought me in.

53 Word Stories (Please Help Me Pick)

Volt Siano

Comments

  • Link

    Wow, these are all really good! My favorites were Deceased Sanity and Ruth. The first one made me think a little more, so I'm leaning toward that one.

    • Link

      I was kinda' feeling the same; thanks for your input!

  • Link

    I agree, they're all pretty good. (I could never write this short...........I like my word counts! XD)

    I think I'd pick "Ruth" though.........it's very emotional. :)

    • Link

      Yeah, I liked the feel of that one too.

  • Link

    Thank you two for your help! I was indeed torn between the two suggested, but I went with "Deceased Sanity" in the end; it's something a bit different than I normally do, and I hope it'll be a little unique among thousands of other submissions.