With about 90% of the people I talk to both online and in my real life, I feel like I am talking too much and people are not interested in talking with me.

When I'm having messenger or text conversations with friends or family, I've noticed that no one is messaging me as much as I am sending them.

I first started to notice it on Telegram, specifically with people who I'm interested in knowing more and wanting to be friends with. Looking at it on Skype, same situation.

Then I noticed that it also is happening with my RL Facebook Messenger and even my Text Messages on my phone with people in my offline life.

My outgoing messages are generally large, long, detailed posts that take up the right side of my messenger of choice. Incoming messages from whoever I'm chatting with or texting are shorter. The left side of messengers are little lines of chat no more than a few words, sometimes I'll get a sentence or two. The exception is if I'm in a really good role-play with someone.

With online people I get a lot of emojis or stickers, but no real conversations are happening these days and I'm really worried I've lost touch with a lot of people I used to consider really good close friends. I don't know what's going on and I don't like it. Is it me? Is it you?

Perhaps my recent downward string of negative journals has been getting on people's nerves, perhaps it's because I don't draw dicks and adult material. It could be because I'm a human in the furry fandom and I don't belong, or they have made other friends who are more available to their needs.

I know people are busy, probably some will admit to being lazy about typing back. I don't think being lazy is a fair enough reason to dry out a friendship.

What brought this journal on? I've been interested in someone for a while in my real life and they have been telling me all about the exciting opportunities they have and all their great news things that are happening in their life and I am genuinely excited and happy for them, we talk about it and enjoy each others company. I ask how they are doing often and want to make myself more desirable for this person. Last week this person insisted on calling me right away to tell me something exciting that happened to them, so they did and we talked and it was great. Over the weekend I had some really exciting news of my own and wanted to share it with this person, and all they said was "Cool!"

Use any shattering, breaking, crumbling analogy you want. It's like a rejection in a way.

I thought this person would have been a lot more excited and enthusiastic for me as I have been for them, and I felt pretty hurt by it. Maybe I am just a loser, no one talks to the loser guy. This could explain a few things.