So just when my car was supposed to be ready to go, a final check was done and another critical flaw was discovered. It’s a rod knock & leads to requiring an engine replacement.

That was utterly disappointing. I went ahead with the workshop’s recommended repairs as replacing a few parts was supposed to solve the problem & get the car running again, only to be thrown with another expensive issue that prevents the car from running. To be fair to the workshop, the additional problem is something that is not easily diagnosed unless the engine can be running, of which the engine could not be started until the first set of repairs was done.

I’ve gotten help from friends with looking into sourcing solutions, but an engine replacement cost is still not cheap.

This month has also highlighted my demons of dealing with social anxiety. Specifically, it’s trying to talk to services, especially when it’s not my field of expertise. I can’t stand dealing with people period, I’m not a people person. Yet I’m forced to face this headlong here. That, along with the looming costs, are driving the stress & anxiety levels up way too much for me to be comfortable with.

At a fur con, I can simply hide all this behind my fursuit or behind the lens of my camera.

On the flip side, all this started because I was heading to a meet in winter. A meet, because I wanted to go and meet friends and spend a weekend with them. I guess I’m just one of those who has a limit to the social interaction they can take, but they still need to have some interaction. That, and my sense of commitment, that I don’t like backing out once I commit to something, which led me to drive on the winter road against my better judgement. I absolutely regret not calling it off & turning back when I was considering it.

I consider one of my huge mistakes while studying in Australia that I didn’t try and interact and adapt more to the local lifestyles and people. I have the perfect medium now to change that, which I didn’t have back then. Even if that’s part of what landed me in this situation, I don’t regret it.

Down, but not out. If there’s a thing Singapore’s fast paced, high expectation, high stress lifestyle teaches you, it’s that you beat back when life beats you down.