I seriously need to vent. I'm just that upset.
I honestly believe that I'm pretty much screwed when it comes to making friends or even keeping them, since it seems like I drive everyone away with the fact I've too much time on my hands and I talk too much. It's honestly painful to suddenly find myself cut from Discord/Steam friend lists because I am the unholy fusion of Claptrap and Tomoko, despite my attempts to write pointless text documents to myself that tell me not to take it so personally.
Then again, it's a miracle I even find them, considering I constantly browse and browse and come up with very few that catch my eye and even fewer (read: none) find me instead, despite the fact I draw a fair bit of fat/muscle/musclegut. I know trying to attract kink crowds isn't exactly the best idea and getting noticed on this site is like trying to revive the dead, but I'm so desperate for friends/attention/whatever I'm willing to do it anyway (nevermind the fact I like those kinks).
But then again, my art is hopelessly mediocre, I've dropped out of high school and totally nuked my chances of having a better life, and I'm as close to an actual living tumor as anyone could get, so I'm totally overlooked in favor of people who aren't as cancerous as I am.
I mean, I do have some friends, but few have any time to do anything (that, or I'm just...lazy). I already have nobody to play games with, but I know soon enough I'll have nobody to talk to if things keep going downhill this way.
So much for wanting to have friends. Just another thing I'm not allowed to have or do.
tl;dr: I have very few to no friends and I must scream.