Well, I went and made myself a Patreon. Mostly it's meant to be a Tip Jar of sorts, as my creative output is virtually nil at the moment. I've got a few minor rewards there, and while there will be a bit of Patreon-Only content, it's not going to be anything important.
Said content will basically be half-written, unfinished, unedited story bits that I have lying around. Some commission stuff where the commissioner changed their mind, a few collabs that got part way through and we decided to do something else, a few ideas that I had an never came back to. Stuff that I wouldn't feel quite right just throwing out there for public consumption, as the lot of it's not in a state to be read.
At this point I can't offer any proper rewards, so mostly what I have is a little bonus of having a name that I can use for a character in a story where I don't have one already supplied, or potentially having a side character if there ever ends up being a place I can use them.
My primary goal with the Patreon is to have enough funds trickle in eventually that I can refund some of my oldest (and most anxiety inducing) commissions so I can clear those out and thus be able to take on new works, which are a great deal easier for me to work with mentally.
I know most of ya are all "I'd just like the story please. ^_^" and that's okay, but with some of them were planned out so long ago, I've pretty much forgotten everything but the basics, and any sequel-type things I've done, I've likely forgotten the plot hooks to and whatnot. Such are the perils when you do everything in your head. >.<
I'm trying to be better with this, and use Trello to take notes on wordcounts and outlines and such. But I've got just a big, scary pile of work in front of me I feel anxiety just thinking about it. :(
So if I still owe you a thing and you have a new idea that you would like me to write, it will be much easier for me to do than the old idea.
This doesn't apply to the shemale quadrupedal bovine TF and the female mage to male hydra TF's, those I've been able to do some work on over the years.
I thank you for your patience for dealing with me while I've been struggling with my shitty homelife, housing situation, and physical and mental ailments.
For those of you that don't know, I spent a good 3-4 years marooned in the middle of nowhere on a farmstead with my mother and her narcissistic jackass of a husband. Mr. Jackass felt that rules were for everybody in the household but him, and what the rules were depended entirely on what was most conventional to him at the time.
There were frequent, multi-hour shouting fights with my mother. He threatened to beat the shit out of me a few times, and we actually got physical once.
And because I would never be sure when I would have my day spontaneously ruined by Mr. Jackass, or have to clean up after his elderly incontinent farm dog (who he never cleaned up after. Massive puddles and piles of poop were obviously from a 25 pound spaniel that was 1/2 bowels and bladder by volume, certainly not the old lab who routinely managed to get lost in the 3 corned square of the kitchen cabinetry).
I spent most of my last two years there in my room with the door locked, coming out only to use the restroom and heat up food. Food that I had to buy in person and keep in my own fridge. Because the son of a bitch threw a shitfit after my mother came home from work once, didn't want a plate of potatoes and porkchops, and then gave them to me to eat.
He hadn't saved her a plate. Those were his seconds. So there was a multi-hour screaming fight between the two of them, and suddenly I had to have an hour round trip drive with Mom every time I needed groceries, instead of paying into a communal grocery fund for the house.
I had to have my own plates and utensils, because Mr. Jackass would not believe that he was the primary source of dirty dishes in the house. I could not leave my two plates, two bowls, two knives, two spoons, or two forks in the sink, or else I would be yelled at.
No matter who had done dishes last, I had to load and unload the dishwasher, as I could not leave my few feeble dishes in the sink, and I couldn't hand-wash them because of the supposed cost to heat the fucking water when Mr. Jackass would leave the 60 inch television on all day.
I moved out almost two years ago.
It's only in the last year that I've been able to eat ice cream again, because he'd yell at me over that, about eating it all, or using one scoop to make a smoothie (HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SMOOTHIE! IT USES MORE ICE CREAM THAN PUTTING IT IN A BOWL!)
I'm lactose intolerant. More than a small scoop of ice cream causes me severe digestive distress.
As a result I've ended up with a pretty severe anxiety disorder and have been basically trained that the best way to get by in life is to shut yourself up away from everybody else so that they cannot scream at you for no reason.
Coupled with this is a chronic pain condition that I still don't have a diagnosis for. It showed up all of a sudden 5-6 years ago and makes everything hurt from the elbows and knees on down, most of the pain in my fingers and toes.
Earlier this year I got my blood tested and it was discovered that I had a uric acid build up, the beginning stages of Gout. I'm on meds to lower that and it's cut my pain in half. But it's still there, and it's still completely awful in my toes.
So with pain meds it's manageable and I can write if I'm feeling creative.
But I've also got something else that's cropped up. I don't know if it's anxiety related, a product of my environment, or just an overactive gag reflex or what, but most days I have a strong, continuous pukey-feeling. I never actually puke, and the pukey feeling doesn't actually reach my stomach. It's mostly in the back of my throat and usually the worst it gets is the occasional dry heave.
Adding to my aches is a triglyceride reducing medication which I suspect may be responsible for my pukeyness and also gives me full body soreness. Most days I don't have the energy to get up and take the dog for a walk around the block. As a result I've put on a bit of weight, which I'm trying to combat by lowering my portion size.
The recent US election has not helped my anxiety any. As my sole income comes from social security disability and I get my medication and my doctors visits paid for by Medicare. Which certain elephant-themed political parties that shall remain nameless want to take a pair of hedge clippers to at best, and burn down and piss on the ashes at worst.
So yeah, I've been sitting here since November 8 wondering if I'm going to end up losing my capacity to have my apartment sometime in the next 4 years because of that.
I can't drive. I have severe motion sickness, and a car phobia. I start puking two hours before a car ride if I don't take an anti-anxiety pill. I start puking in the car if the drive is more than 5 minutes and I don't take a Dramamine. Every time I try and learn how to drive something catastrophic and horrible happens to me (6 moves, 2 instances of Mom getting divorced, me being housebound for a year because I couldn't wear shoes due to massively ingrown toenails, losing all my savings because my dad refused to get his old shitty car properly insured and I had to pay out of pocket to have it fixed when I hit a curb and something broke that was holding the engine up).
I wouldn't be homeless, but I'd have to move in with a member of my family. My three siblings and their families each live in a shitty rural town, my mom and my grandparents own adjacent cabins on a lake that's a 45-60 minute drive to anything with decent shopping, and I sure as hell am not going to move back onto the farm with Mr. Jackass.
So yeah, I hurt physically and mentally, I'm drained physically and mentally, and I'm an anxiety-ridden lump that's worried about a lot of shit.
And despite that I'm trying to get my writing career going again and getting out what I still owe people who have been more patient with me that I probably deserve.
Thus the Patreon. I can't take new commissions until I clear out the old ones (be it by writing or refunding), but if I can squirrel away a bit of money that I can just keep in one place and not be tempted into spending (as most of what I don't use for rent, utilities, and groceries is dedicated to keeping me sane/cheering me up) I'll be able to refund some folks.
I can't offer much in the way of rewards or anything, as I mentioned, but if you feel like you can afford to chip in a little bit, I'd be very grateful.
Thank you all for supporting me and being fans of my work over the years!
If you have any questions about anything, feel free to ask them here and I'll answer them.