Okay, yeah I know the subject title seems a little attention grabby, while not the intent, I just literally can't think of how else to title this.

I had finally taken the time to go through my list of people I was watching, in an attempt to remove the accounts to which some users moved. I didn't finish though as I found out, obviously WAY too late that at least two other people I was watching had passed away. I barely knew them yes, but I couldn't help but cry because I felt bad for not knowing this a LOT sooner. I suppose crying was bound to happen as recently I lost my job and am back to working minimum wage where I am literally reliant on family to help me pay my bills cause I just can't afford it myself right now. Also, about a week ago now, my step-dad (who some may know I didn't really get along with) ended up going to the hospital. I thought he was exaggerating since he is a hypochondriac with the ability to easily fake having bi-polar for so many years until it was found out that he doesn't. Anyway, turns out he wasn't faking this time as he had a massive stroke, and needed immediate surgery. I know I could barely stand the guy sometimes but now I can't help but feel lost.

I haven't been making it easy on myself either, stupidly listening to sad songs on loops (such as Wiz Khalifa - See You Again ft. Charlie Puth). I've tried to get my mind of it, and bury myself in games or movies, but then I watch some movie that has one little sad moment and I end up balling in the theater and feel so utterly stupid for doing so.

So yeah, I'm just rambling now, and anyone who looks at my most recent favorites (on FurAffinity that is) will realize the other kind of otherwise self-harm I've been putting myself through (not literally but looking at sad art, faving said art, and basically making myself cry more when I should just avoid it).

Meh...

Well if anybody has even read this far, and plays Star Wars: The Old Republic, Star Trek Online, or even still plays Final Fantasy XI, feel free to note me if you'd enjoy playing together on any of them. With my work schedule for this minimum wage job I'm working now, I seem to be fairly free most of the time.

Now I can't think of anything else, may or may not edit this entry later to add stuff, but more likely won't have anything for months like I seem to keep doing.