Hey guys, I know I haven't posted much this year... Figured I'd explain why.

First of all, before I begin, if any of you are dealing with depression, and think you have nowhere to turn, you're wrong. There is ALWAYS someone who can help you. Don't suffer alone. Remember: Depression does not care how successful you are. Depression does not care how many friends you have, or how much money you have, or literally anything else. Depression doesn't just sneak up on people who have bad lives, and it effects everyone. Don't suffer alone -- talk to someone.

Anyway, this year hasn't been too great for me. I don't go into personal details much, and honestly, I won't go into a terrible lot of it here. I will say that I completely lost my drive to work for a very long time this year. My inspiration is, has, and always will be tied around my project, EC. That said, I cannot express how important EC is to me, even in what I say in this journal. I will say that EC is how I've coped with the disability which keeps me from my old career -- a career I worked my entire life for, and only got to do for 3 years.

I am truly blessed that I can work on videogame music now, and when I am able, it is certainly one of the most humbling and wonderful things I've been able to do. If it weren't for what I do now with music, I don't know where I'd be, but I do know that EC would have still existed, and EC is what keeps me going, and drives my inspiration. It's always been my message in a bottle to the world at large, and the one way I feel that I can communicate what the world looks like from where I sit. More importantly though, EC is a tool I use to try and show other people that they are not alone. Depression is a major theme in EC, as is coping, respect, forgiveness, remorse, and responsibility.
Is it a story about foul-mouthed cartoon animals? Yes. And to many others, that's all it will ever be. That or a huge tome of words that causes their eyes to glaze over. Either way, it's what kept me going all through Freedom Planet, Hitogatta Happa, and pretty much anything else you may (or may not) have played that I worked on.

Earlier this year, EC fell apart. There are a lot of reasons as to why this happened, and I wont' go into all of them, but I will say many a long-time collaborator simply ditched the project. This is something that's been going on since EC was in its infancy, and I was still recovering from losing my former career. It's a pattern that has come to be pretty normal at this point, and while I don't like to point fingers or place blame, and will not say who did what, or what happened, I will say that I made a mistake in trying to make it a collaborative project in the first place.

My original goal was to work on this thing with my friends. Along the way, I made many concessions for their sake. I changed parts, I added parts, I did things that would invest them in the story they'd agreed to read and review, or collaborate on. As time went on, I realized I was mutilating my own dream project for others who didn't realize what it did for me as a person. While I wrote it to show them, and anyone else who happened across it that not a one of them was alone, in a strange, abstract way, I completely lost my way and derailed. The project was completely destroyed, and with it, went my inspiration to do much of anything -- including professional work. I've had to turn down a few jobs because I know in my current state, I can't deliver a quality product.

There's a reason I haven't replied to comments and PMs or anything of that sort in a very long time, and I apologize for that. Right now, I'm doing the very best I can. I will try and get back to you all on the PMs and such, and I cannot thank you all enough for being patient with me. I've got a long road ahead of me, to get back to producing quality work. The things I've made recently are very hit-or-miss, and almost all of them, I haven't felt compelled to post here, or on SoundCloud. i would like to start getting back to work, but before I can really focus again... I'm going to have to address EC. Whether or not it's important to anyone else, it's important to me, and I need to have it in my life. I know at least one of you really wants me to continue working on it, too (hi, Dragonus. :P) If I can do this, and get this working again, I'd be happy to start sharing my work again, but the honest truth of the matter is that I've barely been able to make anything worthwhile this year, aside from work I was already under contract to do.

I turn 30 in a month. Time to get back on the horse.

This is not me looking for pity or sympathy or whatever. It's just me explaining the situation, and getting this off my chest. I do not speak personally very often anywhere on the internet -- and with good reason! ...but hopefully things will get better with time.
If you really do feel bad for whatever reason, just go give EC a spin. The first two episodes have been re-written while I start to pick up the pieces, and decide on my future. Read those two instead of worrying. :P

Anywho, I'll be attempting to catch up on comments, and upload a backlog of things from Soundcloud over the next few days. Sorry I've kept you waiting so long. Have a good week!

~L