i'm posting this here since i'm more confident about this place than FA as far as people taking off due to a ranty journal

its just that
honestly i'm constantly unhappy with my style and my content and the subject of my images and my method of construction

and every time i submit something i feel like i notice everything wrong with it and i hate it

everything i've produced lately has been very lazy and shitty and i don't have the energy to make it look any better and it makes me feel awful. i haven't so much as sketched anything for probably 2 months now and just the thought of creating makes me feel awful

i get too many comments everywhere from people telling me my art is 'cute' and 'full of potential' and its just crushing. theres nothing good about it now and there was nothing good about it 5 years ago because people keep saying shit like that.

i also feel like it doesnt very well encompass me or my interests in any way and i'm exhausting myself thinking of ways to better communicate the kind of person i am through my imagery. i think people have thoroughly gotten the wrong idea of the kind of person i am based of the content i put out on here and FA and tumblr and it's scary. i have no living clue what to do about it, i feel misunderstood and hopeless and it's keeping me from wanting to even try creating at all

it's probably some hideous combination of manic depression and lyme disease honestly but i have never at any point in my entire life been happy with my art and my output and the things i create. i hate it, it's the only thing i want to do but i feel like a complete and utter failure at the only thing i want to do.