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Inspirational Garbage by sixrabbits

Whenever people post these inspirational messages about how "depression will pass" that is just soooo half baked and ignorant...

I really feel like giving up on life. Like why continue to live in a world where people can be so insufferable?

For one, I always get the impression that what they are really saying is "your problems bother me, I don't want to deal with your issues just don't talk about them because they make me unhappy". These messages just always make it about not expressing your misery, and forcing people to smile and pretend everything is fine. Like my soul crushing misery is encroaching on their sunshine.
Never really hear these messages saying that "your pain is valid", but more that it is completely invalid. A lot of minimizing the issues of other people and basically a little backhand insult of "you're so weak and pathetic for having a problem that I don't have"

I think 90% of the messages I have seen, and certainly the ones that made me want to guzzle cyanide the most, are written by people that have never dealt with these problems personally, and have no experience with the serious issues of mental illness. But clearly they know better because... the sun can shine right through from one ear to the other?

My usual impression is not one of support but of people wanting the worst of the world to get a coat of paint and glitter to make them more comfortable.

If you really want to help people suffering from mental illness. maybe acknowledge that what they are going through really sucks? Because it consumes a lot of their life, and really it would just be nice if people would stop minimizing that it is a living Hell for the people that deal with it every day.

Inspirational Garbage

sixrabbits

27 June 2016 at 21:50:02 MDT

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  • Link

    I know where you're coming from. I had a year in which I was in hospital three times (voluntary self-committed) for severe depression that resulted in a suicide attempt that failed only because the drug I chose wasn't up to the task. The key to getting beyond that sure as hell wasn't listening to any of the ill-informed and hackneyed "advice" offed by family and friends, it was getting care from professionals that not only knew what they were dealing with, but also cared and wanted to help. A big portion of that help was discovering that I have Asperger's and much of the depression was caused by not knowing why I was so different and the effect it had on my life.

    It's been better since then but by no means are all my core issues solved, nor am I significantly more cheerful as a person. A lot of the discomfort of feeling like the odd duck everywhere I go is easily managed and most of the progress is due to understanding and accepting myself better. All I can say is seek out the people who can really help you, which are the professionals. They may not have all the answers, but they are certainly a lot better than some chirpy idiot putting on a false smile and just telling you to "cheer up" as if emotions are as changeable as underwear. Those people are not only useless, they are often dangerous to listen to, because it makes the depressed person feel emotionally deficient in comparison.

    Just my two cents.

    • Link

      It can be very frustrating when people actually defend the folks divulging this junk. This was started with a video by an ignorant twat, literally saying that depression is just a cloud and it will pass. People commented about how that kind of talk was disrespectful and dangerous, and people defended him saying that we were "defending that which was causing us pain" or we were just "too lazy" to fix ourselves.

      The worst of my depressions is connected to PMDD, where I start to have paranoid thoughts and even hallucinate. Yes, in a few days it will start to pass, but it is Hell to live in, and it never fully leaves. I have to keep myself busy to keep it at bay. My last therapist, before I lost my decent insurance, suggested I keep myself involved, stay on my hormones, and exercise. Would be a lot easier if the docs would just agree to remove the offending organ, but hey, I can just keep taking pills that put me at a higher risk of blood clots and an ongoing threat of cancer. That doesn't usually help my depression, knowing what it's like to die from cancer and knowing that I'm more likely to get it than not.

      • Link

        If there's one thing I do, is ask those who think they know better than the professionals when they actually don't, is to produce the credentials that they have qualified training and experience to go with it. Otherwise, I pointedly let them know that their opinions are irrelevant, useless and sometimes harmful. Some have gotten very offended, to which I add that being offended does not improve the value of their useless and harmful advice one bit. I have ended a couple of conversations by literally telling them they don't know jack shit and they may as well shut the fuck up, because I'm no longer listening. People are entitled to their opinions, but sometimes need to be reminded that they are not entitled to those opinions being given any value. It may make me look like an ass to some, but when the stakes are my personal health and well-being, I don't let them cross that boundary.

        I don't have any proven, useful advice I can give you in your situation as I don't know jack, and won't pretend that I do. American health care, in what is argued as the richest country on earth, is ridiculously expensive, ineffective, inadequate and inequal when it shouldn't be. I hope that you are able to find a doctor that can figure out and do the best thing for you and get you some relief from your suffering. All I can offer is my well-wishes.

        • Link

          Yeah, it just really bugs me that these people act like they are doing such a great service, when they don't even know what they are doing or even how much harm they could cause.

          American health care is crap. I have a cyst and my doctor just poked at it and was like "yep, that's a cyst. That'll be $50".
          Working out seems to be doing me good. It doesn't work for everyone, but I have found significant improvement from stepping up my work outs to include cardio and more weight lifting.

  • Link

    Yeah, peoples advice on the internet is in general really terrible. Doubly so for mental health.

    In the end one really has to rely on professionals. I worry so much for those without good insurance...

    • Link

      Yeah, but they think they are the smartest ones in the room.

      That's the boat I'm in. It's actually cheaper to go to a pharmacy not covered by my insurance because I have such a crazy high deductible- did the math and by the time I reached it at a covered pharmacy, it would be the same as getting 10 free refills at the other pharmacy. It doesn't cover most therapy... sometimes I think the American healthcare system is rigged to kill the mentally ill, given how hard it is to get mental health coverage. Oh but I can get ECT.