Heyyy Weasyl! I miss you guys all a bunch :C I want to be active again but I kind of hit a wall?
I don't know y'all, but I feel very strange these days. Maybe I'm depressed? (I'm pretty sure now I'm depressed..) I finally really moved into my new apartment a few weeks ago and I got the bedroom done at least. I am renovating everything on my own and I must admit that the work had left me with little energy and motivation after I got the kitchen done too. I still have the living room and the small corridor to do. And even though I have time and materials... I can't seem to be able to move an inch toward these goals.
The new apartment is way more clairaudent than the last and even though I only have 5 neighbors, the one right underneath me often keeps the TV very loud right into the night. Once I had to get up at 3.50 to knock on his door and ask him to turn it down. But I hate getting dressed and going down and hammering on his door until he finally sees fit to open and talk to me. Since then, I only knock, he knows hes too loud and turns it down, I go to bed again. But my blood pressure always goes through the roof when I hear that he's too loud because I can't sleep but I dont want to go down and confront him either. Ughhhhh
The only thing really keeping me "company" right now is Dragon Age Inquisiton... I started my second run through and I just love both of my Inquisitors so much and they get so much love from the people around them that it makes me feel warm and fuzzy too.
Then I feel a bit bad again, because I owe a bit of art and I always want to draw something for my friends and the artists I admire, but nothing I scribble comes out right and nothing really makes me go "awe yeah they'll like that" and so I just stick to sketching my Inquisitors and throwing the sketches away when I don't like it.
Also, crying over little things? Meaningless shit? Having a throat ache and losing my voice from time to time. Not really getting enough done at work I feel like... though today was a good day... Gained weight, not happy with that one bit, I feel very discouraged about that...
Oh and I have no idea how to break the thing with my husband off. I just met his mother and the second time we met she gave me a huge gold ring, family heirloom and shit, and I want to give it back, but I feel so awkward and unthankful?!?!?! And he's had to sleep in the airport for I don't know how long now and every time we make a date so he can get some of his stuff he cancels a few hours before we were supposed to meet, he always gets angry SO fast, and ten minutes later he acts like nothings happened? Man, we've got issues....
I hope I wasn't too all over the place with this...
I am feeling a bit down, am a teeny bit sick, not productive at all and the only thing bringing me joy rightt now is Dragon Age inquisition.... I feel like I failed but I know I haven't, ya kno? :C Pretty cruddy rn.... Thank you to everyone who's still with me though, y'all have no idea how much you mean to me <3 (If you feel even remotely like I might be talking about you as well - I am!!!)
I's not that I don't like you if we haven't talked in a while, it's just all a bit much rn!