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Date Night by Silvermane
Going to vent here a bit. Earlier in the week and during Pride I started talking to a guy I've been talking to on a gay dating app here and there for around a year. We seemed to hit it off. Talking, chatting, he wanted to meet me, I wanted to meet him. So it came time to arranging the first date. I suggested dinner and hanging out, low key slightly romantic listed options everything was set to go tonight (Saturday). He said he'd text me Saturday morning. Saturday at 12:35 I decided to be diplomatic and mention if we were still on for doing something. He said he was planning on it and would let me know once he was done at his mothers doing some chores. Sent a text at 6:20pmish still haven't heard from him.
If this was the first time this happened I could brush it off. but every single time I seem to get close to setting up a date, the person goes invisible. I was looking forward to a sushi dinner with a guy I thought would work out or at least get to know a bit better and at the very least have a friend out of it. Now I am not even sure I want to hear the excuse, if any, he'll have. In this day and age of communication with everyone buried nose deep in their phones at all times you're telling me you can't even send a text saying "Sorry can't do it tonight." I can handle rejection well. It's not being told anything at all I don't handle well at all.
This has happened to me over and over again. People making plans or promises and then never hearing back. Nothing concrete. Nothing solid. Where does this lead me? To the inescapable conclusions that follow:
1.) I am not worth anyone's time or energy.
2.) Clearly there are others that are far more important in people's lives than myself that they can't even be bothered to talk or text me unless I make the first move, which gets tiring fast.
3.) I am beginning to really not trust the words "you are so (fill in blank with adjective of praise) that you'll find someone."
4.) Really starting to think that being honest and reaching out to people is just a waste of energy and effort and that I should just keep going at it like I have been alone. Cause clearly the only person that's looking out for me is me.
Date Night
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Sorry to hear this going down that way. One thing I've noticed though, and that is something that seems to be more prevalent than you actually not having the worth to communicate openly with is that the people who go invisible often do so because they don't want to admit error, don't want to be the first one to say something negative, and gods forbid don't want any sort of even a chance of a confrontation. Yes, looking at the situation it only takes a minute to send a text, but it would be something negative; and they rather seem to want to be passive and go invisible than to actually send this text.
I'm not saying I understand this attitude myself or think it's healthy or conducive in any way to making friends (or more), but I've seen it more and more - the more people have this complicated relationship with their smartphones, the less they seem capable of clear communication.
So don't turn this inward please, Silvermane; I'm pretty sure none of what happened is in any reasonable way your blame.-
I'd dare say saying nothing at all definitely would notake help and social issues said person might have. Quite the reverse as I could have easily given up on him. As it stands I think he is more into just the idea of sexton online only and not comfortable with his sexuality, or maybe it's just me. It's hard to know anything about a person if everything is done online. Yeah its very ironic that the loverall of the cell phone also means not communicating, which us even odder when you see people always on their phones. So what are they doing? Who are they communicating with? It is hard not to think it's something I've said or done but guess all I can do is carry on.
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Korban
hey...listen...I get where you're coming from man. There are times where I feel like I'm not worth anyone's time or energy or that people think there are others more important than you or me or anyone else for that matter...but I'll say this. You've got friends, man. They'll back you up and help you out anyway they can. Hell, sometimes the one you're looking for might just very well be in your circle of friends or may know someone else in their circle of friends that might be interested in you.
I feel you Silvermane, but ya gotta stay strong and power on through man...always remember you aren't ever truly alone. hugs