Well... Shi- Venting by Xathoa

Well... I have't been doing speedpaints and stuff recently because I've been in charge of the house now. A house I do not own. And on top of that, I just found out an additional super-high fee that I'll have to pay if I want to stay with my partner.

(a "to long; didn't read" is at the bottom)

To elaborate: I've been living in a different country on a work/holiday visa for about half a year with my partner who lives as a citizen in this country. I'm slowly working my way into becoming a citizen, or so I hope, so I won't have to worry about visas while I'm with my partner.

I've been living with his family, because he's been doing University, and he is by no means rich. He got into University because he had REALLY high marks.

His parents are divorced (a lot are now-a-days), and with that, they had an odd visitation system. 4 days at the mother's, and 4 days at the father's. It's really hard to keep track when it's like that.

One day his mother just blew up at us (me and my partner) because we didn't clean the dishes.

Information on that: Friday night, my partner's sister had a party with over ten people over, smoking and drinking, and generally making a mess of the place, for her birthday. My partner and I were not invited, really. So we stayed upstairs with his younger brother playing video games and keeping to ourselves. I don't know what went on down there really. All I know is I got a headache from all the cigarettes.

Saturday morning, his sister and mother went on a cruise-party all day because it was "work-related". So my partner, his brother, and I were left alone in the house. We played games and hung out really. I found out that a lot of dishes were left in the sink from last night, and I was thinking about cleaning them. But my partner said that I shouldn't. And I agreed, thinking "We weren't invited. I'm not her mother, and these aren't my dishes." We did clean the dishes we used throughout the day (and generally used a minimal amount), so we did our best to stay tidy on our parts. They came home late and immediately went to bed.

That following Sunday morning, my partner's mother decided to order pizza for breakfast because she stated "I'm lazy right now, and I don't want to cook." Which was fine. I don't really blame her; I don't like cooking myself unless I offer to. When pizza arrived we all went downstairs to eat around the table. His mother then started by saying something like, "You know, this isn't cool. I just came home from a long weekend, and I find dishes in the house. You guys could have cleaned them." My partner replied and said that we usually do the dishes int he mornings, especially me, and we didn't this time because they weren't ours. She immediately retorts saying "Stop defending her!" in the direction of me. My partner hates when I'm attacked, even by words. I hate fights, and so when this started getting heated, I forgot most of what was said. He replied back, and I remember her yelling somewhere "You guys do fuck all!"

Well, by the end- excuse me. There wasn't really an end. Near the end, my partner decided to up and leave before anything else happens, and I followed.

We've been staying at his dad's since then. His dad's was rather nice to stay at... when my partner's grandmother was there. She didn't speak too much english, but it was enough to get by. And she was a lovely lady.~ She would keep the house kept, clean the dishes, wash the clothes, and feed the bird. All without complaining or even giving it a second thought. Oh, and she cooked the food for all of us too! She was truly wonderful.

His dad decided that he didn't want to compete for love anymore, and wanted his mother (the grandmother of my partner) out of the house for good. He thought it was "disgusting" that he was living with his mother still, and how he hates her everytime he sees her when he comes home.

After many long months, he finally got his wish. Baba (the grandmother) moved out back to her birth country. My partner and I know she'll at least be happy there with people who truly do love her and can do something about it. All Baba's grandchildren loved her (including I) but we couldn't do anything about keeping her here or safe.

Now we're at his dad's house, without Baba. He doesn't clean dishes; he rinses them. He doesn't do the clothes; he does his own (and does it wrong, for he taught us the wrong way to do the clothes). He cooks, yes, but grudgingly. He yells at my partner's brother all the time for being on the computer, when he himself it always hogging the living room by: Keeping the TV on with either Southpark or some weird fetish movie, laying on the whole couch, using his phone for games or whatever, or sometimes even falling asleep while all this is going on.

I usually stay in the bedroom because I cannot stand him. He has screwed over my partner several times, and basically has called him inferior in intellect and not old enough to be wise. My partner knows a helluva lot more than that man. Not to mention, that man is sexist.

Anyway, My partner recently got a job in hopes to move out soon. That and he is starting his Honours degree in University. So he's been very pressed for time. While that's been going on, I've been trying to do my part to show I am helpful. I've been trying to do what Baba did. Not as well, mind you, but trying. I've been doing the clothes. And I have been washing the dishes (and re-washing the ones his dad just rinsed). I've been keeping things clean, and trying to watch after my partner's younger brother when he comes back home from school. (He doesn't have keys, so I have to let him in)

It's getting to me. I've been so very stressed (I think. I still don't quite recognise the feeling of stress). I halso do help my partner out with his things. Every morning he needs to go to work, I wake up at 4am with him to make him sandwiches. And he leaves for his 3-hour trip to his job that starts at 7am. It ends at 7pm, so he usually makes it home at 9pm. When he's not going to work, I help him check over his essays and read over. Spell-checking, and telling him when it's hard for me to understand and follow. He tends to fix them u at that point. Actually, he said the whole last semester, when I was with him and helping, was his best semester. He honoured me with that statement.~

Recently, since we've been together in person for a year (we've been together for two years in total), I decided to look at what visa's I can try and get for a de facto relationship. There's a lot of paperwork to do... And on top of that, there's a $4,000 fee.

My partner has been supporting me in my art. He didn't want me to get a job (as I didn't anyway), instead he wanted me to concentrate on my art and try and sell that way. I've been trying, but to no avail. No one wants to buy from me, and I'd like to think I'm not that bad. But he's been supportive.

Until I found out the price for me extending my visa on a de facto relationship basis. He still wants to support me, but he's been feeling very stressed that the money is now on his shoulders, and he has to carry that burden. I hate that I've done that to him. I wished I could have had pieces sold to help with that burden a little.

But alas, I couldn't.

So, now, I need to get a job, for immediate money. So I can help. So I'm not lazy. To prove I can do something. So I can prove I can earn money. So that I can stay with him. So I can live with him. So that we can be happy...


I wanted to earn money doing art. That isn't working. So I have to put at aside and do something else that'll earn immediate money for my stay. And I've been doing a lot of chores and now paperwork, so I can't do art in my free-time all too much.

So art will be sparse until I do have time.

Commissions will still be open, but only because I don't expect to get many, if at all, any orders.

Well... Shi- Venting


3 March 2013 at 21:55:04 MST

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    Can understand that, sounds like a lot to really deal with. Hopefully everything works out for ya.

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      It is. But I know I'm not the only one having a hard time.

      I hope so.

      I really wanted to sell art and have that be my job. But apparently I'm not popular enough for that, so I have to go get a different job instead. One that I wouldn't put my heart in.