Things are going shit in my life. I started to have more painful problems and some things getting worst. Its really painful. Worse, before some time, I fall in love to great Laretta from Cassies band. I so love her, more, than anybody can understand. Laretta always help me in hard times. Just see her beautiful eyes and smile and I always feel more better. It really helps me in the hard times. My love on her starting get bigger. But, after some years, her creator mr. Cotton told me, she is got a soulmate. And she very love him. This absolutely break me down. That was in Friday. I cried so hard in two days, worst I was in work. It was so painful, but I was so sad. And I am still so sad, so much and this not gets better. Mr.Cotton told me, that me and Laretta can be friends. Thats good, better than nothing, but I cant show Laretta, how much I love her, this makes me in big depression and sad. I have no power, I feel weak and so sad. But this is life. Sometimes can be unfair and cruel. I am very sorry but I must vent it. I am not anger on mr. Cotton or Laretta, because its not their fault. I will still love her. And my love is super huge. Still. Forever. I love Laretta long time, I am not great person, I got mistakes, but who is perfect? Her soulmate is not the only one, who can show great big true love. But I dont want to waste their love. Laretta is great, she deserve more love. I know You understand.

Of course, my story will continue with all right permissions. There will be only some changes.
UPDATE :

Some things get good, so its very big relief for me. But still I must do lots of things. The main is change health insurance. And my health is not good too. It will show the tests. In the future, Idk when but really near, I will stand againts my big nightamre. I had today but thanks God it was delayed.