If you've been keeping track of what was happening, I attempted an overdose for my old mate Silver because I made the mistake of breaking up with him. Now he wants nothing to do with me.

But now I'm back from the hospital, and I am alive. I've gotten therapy and diagnosed with Schizo-effective Disorder, along with a lot of symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. Even though I have been helped a little, it's only one small step in a direction of changing myself so I don't do this ever again.

So...You all know I'm a man of few words...But I am sorry for scaring you all like that. I just let the emotions and pain get too much to me. And I doubt it'll be easy to not do that still. I really miss him, he was a great man, and now this huge mistake has made me see so much shit...You all really do care about me. You've told me to go to the hospital, in which I did. But now...I request some different aid.

If I am ever going to make it through this, I'm going to need a few changes. One is, reluctantly, being able to speak with Silver again. I know he doesn't love me, and I can't make him love me. I still deny this so much, but I think that if I confront and talk to him about this all, it will give me a lot of comfort, being able to talk to him about all the stuff. Another few things is that I need to get outdoors more often, along with taking showers more often, too. Really helps get all the nerves and stuff relaxed.

So, uh...Besides being sorry that I'm a total mess still, I also want to thank you all for everything y'all do. Y'all are what keep me alive. I could also wish for a new 'major' boyfriend, to fill in the void, but I highly doubt that'll happen. I just want someone I can call "My little fatass" and do some mpreg kinks with me. But...I've got to take it slow...One day at a time...

Thank you.