It's been over a month since my last journal, somehow. So about two months ago, I posted that journal talking a bit about my recent battle with some emotional issues of mine, and I wanted to post a small follow-up. I've been going to therapy for a small bit now, and it's been helping quite a lot. I also started taking an SSRI for my anxiety. I was incredibly hesitant to touch this type of medication at first, to the point that I foolishly threw away the first bottle I received out of fear. After talking with my therapist and really learning more about it and why it was prescribed to me, I decided to give it a try after all. Part of my problem with taking it was that I saw it as a medication only for depression, so it felt like it wasn't for me or my problems, like I'd been dismissed and told I had something I didn't. But it turns out that's pretty inaccurate! I'm on nearly the lowest dosage you can have of this stuff, but it has made a world of difference. In the last month I've been more productive, calm, happy, you name it. I had no idea how bad I had been feeling for so long until I started to feel better.

There's still a part of me that feels a sort of embarrassment or shame that I need medication to be "okay", even though I don't hold others who take it to the same standard as myself. That's part of why I'm posting this journal. I know that way of thinking is pretty ridiculous, and I want to face it. Also, I'm hoping that anyone else who maybe feels scared or embarrassed about getting treated for emotional pain might feel a little less alone. It's a weird thing to go through.

Anyways, I've been dealing with all of that, as well as serving jury duty for the first time (boo) and celebrating my husband's birthday (yay!). I am trying with all my might to open for a round of commissions, but I need to make sure everything that was in my old queue is all done and squared away before I do that. I keep unearthing held spots that were set aside for people ages ago, ha ha. But I think I'm just about at the end of that, and I'll be able to take on new stuff super soon! I'm very excited to do so. When I open, I'll post a journal giving the details, and my website is going to be updated with a couple new commission options, like bookmarks and different levels of detail for colored pieces. I'm only going to take on a couple people at a time when I open, so that I can have a quick turnaround for accepting new people. I think that will help me a lot in avoiding a massive back log!

Oh, I've also got myself an account on Furry Network, and have begun updating it alongside my other galleries. I really, really like the site so far! It has a lot of functions that aren't present on any other furry sites I've used, so I think this one might actually get some good traffic. They're coming out of beta soon, so you won't have to ask for a beta key, too (though if you want one now, you can just email them or ask over twitter, it's pretty easy to get).
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/malachyte/

Thanks so much for reading, and for supporting me in all the ways you do.