Ok so when I was a kid, I didn't understand the NES game Excitebike.

I would pass every fucker from the starting line, and a whole bunch of weirdos who were magically ahead of me, and still I'd come in 3rd at best.

At some point, since I couldn't figure out how to play the game "the right way", I decided to play it my own way, which was to just massacre every other racer as brutally as possible. I figured out that stopping short in front of other racers made them crash, and if someone fell on the track ahead of me, nothing pleased me more than to run them over. Yeah, it takes you out, too, but it's all about the horrible satisfaction I felt when I did it.

Now, of course, I know that Excitebike is not necessarily a RACING game, it's a TIME TRIAL game, and also, the B button is a turbo. That helps you not suck as much. But sometimes, I still play it my way.

Also, I don't remember exactly why, but I REALLY had it out for "the blue guy", and I still do. For some reason, I feel more the need to destroy him than anyone else. So. He's featured here. ...kind of.

Sora (c)Disney/SquareEnix
Excitebike (c)Nintendo